Saturday, June 28, 2008

Who are the people in your neighborhood?

Hmm, does that title make you sing the little song from Sesame street? If it does, then you know that the answer is... everyone together now.... "They're the people that you meet each day!"

My "neighborhood" is my house. The people in my house consist of: a husband (R), age 34; myself(G), age 36; a daughter(SE), age 8; a son(RS), age 7; another son(JL), age 5; and another daughter(MP), age 9 months. It seems silly for me to just use letters instead of our real names, but the internet is such a free-for-all when it comes to voyeurism. Anyone can peek into your life, invited or not, finding out intimate details about who you are, where you live, what you eat, when you go out, what kind of car you drive, etc. My husband works in a place where security is really important, so I think this is just the best way to keep my privacy, well... private!

Of course I guess I could always just shut up. That would really keep everything private but getting me to quit talking is like getting a river to run backwards.

So, when I had to choose a name for my blog, the title "Who Put Me in Charge of These People???" seemed appropriate. I am 36 years old, and I've been married for 10 years and a mom for almost 9 of those. Yet there are many days when I find myself feeling like, "Who in the hell thought I was a responsible enough person to be in charge of another human being??? I don't remember growing up yet!!!" Every day I look at my house, my stack of bills, my amazing children, and I can't believe that I am responsible for caring for everything around me. It gets quite overwhelming and sometimes causes me to break into a sweat, which is quickly remedied by a Miller Lite. That seems to take the edge off. When I've composed myself, I try to put myself into the shoes of my own mother decades ago, as she took care of 4 kids. I have so much trouble equating myself as an authority figure, responsible adult, the way I always saw her. But I guess over a matter of time, I have morphed into a repeat version of my mother. That's not such a bad thing, considering she did an awesome job with us and she is my role model and biggest hero (as well as my biggest fan). But at the same time, it's a little bit sad to see your own innocence, immaturity, and irresponsibility fade away. Gone are the days when you can just let something go, hoping someone else will handle it. Forever lost is the time when if you just didn't talk about something, it would eventually quit being important. Now, instead, I have many piles of papers to file, documents to sign, unpaid bills to pay, paid bills to file, and a list of people I need to call. Every job that gets finished simply reminds me that I will have another job or two or three to do very soon.

UGH that is depressing. Now I will have to go write myself a note to chill out.

So, the people in my neighborhood are flawed but fun. They have wonderful spirits and know how much their parents and God loves them. They are typical: they push the boundaries but know who has the final say. Everyday with them is a blessing. I guess the real challenge is for ME to recognize that.

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