Saturday, July 19, 2008

Still More Stuff I Don't Get

When we moved to Texas I noticed lots of things that were different. For one thing, it was hotter than Hades in the summer. Also, all the highway exits had these funky U-turn lanes, which I call the "oh-shit-I-shouldn't-have-exited-here" lane. Also, I am craving Dairy Queen but haven't seen one in the metroplex yet. But, there was this curious little restaurant that I wanted to try:

For those of you who don't know the distinctive orange and white roof, this establishment is called Whataburger. The food is okay - maybe after living here a while we will grow to LOVE it, but for now it's just a compromise because it's closer to our house than McDonalds.

The food may be good, but I can tell you one reason why I really love this restaurant: the ketchup. Here's how they give ketchup to their customers:

Genius I tell ya. Pure genius. This is the way ketchup is meant to be served in a drive thru society such as our own. I had suffered through so many car rides when the dinner-in-a-fast-food-bag couldn't be complete until a small puddle of ketchup was created for the dipping of french fries. Of course, the puddle was created by tearing off some small corner of the drive thru bag and squirting 3 or 4 or 327 ketchup packets onto the thin, nearly transparent paper. At least half of the time the ketchup squirt would be unpredictable and we'd end up with ketchup on the ceiling or in the speaker holes or on me.

But, no longer. Why oh why does McDonalds continue to serve ketchup in those horribly small little foil pouches? Isn't it obvious that the most popular use for ketchup is to dress up french fries? I mean, it's not really a big jump for them to figure it out - the McNugget sauce is already in the little dipping dishes. How hard would it be to serve the ketchup that way too? I am wondering if the big gigantic brains at McDonalds who figured out that marketing to children is a great way to get parents to bring them to their restaurant have totally failed to watch people feed their children in the play area. Right after every kid bee-lines into the play area, rips off their shoes and socks and deposits them under the "SOCKS ARE REQUIRED TO PLAY" sign, then barrels through the maze of brightly colored tubes, nets, playmats, stepping in random body substances (pee, boogers, snot, earwax), they return to the table to eat their food. Usually without washing their hands. And they pick up their french fries with those very same fingers. And dip them. In a puddle of ketchup.

McDonalds, are you listening? Take a hint from Whataburger. Oh, and put some Germ-X dispensers by the Playland, please.

Next week: California


Bridgett said...

Huh. It always seemed like DQs were everywhere down in TX. But I wasn't in the metroplex very long, more time in Houston.

Whataburger. Here's my memory of whataburger:

And while we're at it, Houston:

My sordid high school career...

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

First I wanted to thank you for visiting my blog...I'd love to have the grasshopper pie recipie, but don't see your email...mine is on my profile.

As far as the McD's playland...hate it...hate it...I didn't let my kids play in there until they were old enough to understand what DIRTY meant...and get why mom wiped their hands before they ate...ew

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Thanks for the son will love that...I'll let you know when I make it...

HRH said...

You live in too much city for Dairy Queen. Every little town in the entire state has one, but we don't get them here in the big city--don't ask me why.

I will have to try Whataburger for the ketchup that is serious genius.

And the playarea nightmare: *shudder*

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

There's a DQ in Coppell if you care to make the journey!

As a recovering germaphob, I can't handle those indoor play areas ;)

C and C Mommy said...

Hrh is right. We live in a smaller town in South Texas and we have 3 Dairy Queens...they are perfect for summer nights.

The only thing I LOVE about Whataburger is their ketchup. In our town the Whataburger is in the same parking lot as McDonalds and I have known people to buy their burger and fries at McDonalds and then buy a milkshake at Whataburger so they can get some ketchup!! They are famous for their ketchup!!?? You would think more fast food joints would get the message!

Trooper Thorn said...

I never get ketchup at McD's for fries; I always ask for nugget BBQ sauce to dip.

Long ago I worked at McD's and had to clean out the ball pit frequently. I could write a horror movie about the detritus found in there. I'll call it "I Know What You Did in the Playland Ballpit But Should Have Done in the Bathroom Last Summer."

Anonymous said...

Also, (While McDonald's is listening) could y'all PLEASE just assume that I do, in fact, want ketchup? Because it's just one more stupid thing to remember while the kids scream and the husband bitches and drinks and straws are passed and toys are rejected in the backseat..just ASSUME that I need ketchup w/ my fries..don't make me ASK!