Saturday, August 30, 2008

Aunt Flo

WARNING: If you are a guy, you may choose to skip this post. Unless, of course, you want to be really in touch with your partners' monthly cycle.

Okay, girls, I just want to know one thing: Am I the ONLY one who would rather throw away her underwear, no matter how new or cute, than scrub/bleach/soak a pair of panties to remove those disgusting stains from that time of the month? I don't exactly buy La Perla. My speed is more like Hanes Her Way. So, my time is worth something, yes? And I already soak pee-sheets and scrub spit-up stains. I don't really want the added chore, ya know?

Also, am I the ONLY one who, no matter whether or not you know it's time for Aunt Flo to arrive, still forget to wear anything to protect said panties and end up ruining same said panties?

Here's a funny convo I had with Texan Papa after last month's visit from Aunt Flo:

TP: Umm, can you put your personal products away, like in the cabinet?

TM: Yep, sure, except during the week when I need them.

TP: Why can't you keep them put away all the time?

TM: Well, because when I'm sitting on the toilet, and need a PRODUCT, I can't exactly get up and move about the bathroom freely to fetch my products. Especially since I keep the products in the cabinet above the toilet which necessitates me STANDING ON THE TOILET to get them down. Besides, why does it matter?

TP: Because they're your personal products. I don't want to see them.

TM: YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED TO ME FOR 10 YEARS!!! Besides, what's the big deal? It's not like anyone else uses that bathroom besides us.

TP: Yeah. I use it. And I don't want to see that stuff. Can't you get that stuff down when you know you're going to need it?

TM: Well, sorry but I can't help ya. Unless of course YOU want to clean up little blood droplets off the carpet. You, not me. And you'll know where that blood came from.

TP: Just forget it.

TM: Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say.


texasholly said...

Your husband is very long suffering...hahaha.


In the interest of bringing peace to your marriage could I suggest a cute little basket with a cover to place on the back of your toilet? And then when you are sure you are done having kids, let me know and I will tell you the tale of a surgery so magnificent that Aunt Flo is a distant memory.

Jen said...

Um, you guy should just suck it up. You can keep the 'products' where you need them. If he doesn't like it use another bathroom that week.
Men, what are you going to do with them.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

Does he contract amnesia on a monthly basis? Why get into such a conversation??

You are not the only one who does anything, I can guarantee you that :D

Jen said...

I tried to e-mail you but it didn't work so here is the info. What I used to make the photo montage was a program called Picasa. It is a free down load. I would just Google it and you should be able to find it. I hope that helps.

Anna See said...

I am a Hanes Her Way girl, too. My new secret is black cotton undies. They never get gross looking. The others? Yep, I throw them out.

Donna-Michele said...

Your blog is sooo wonderful! You aren't alone. I went for years without ever staining a pair of panties...then after having a child, my cycle changed and I have ruined so many I have lost count. Stain treatment tip...spit on it immediately, the saliva dissolves the blood. Also, good dish soap, like Dawn, makes treating blood stains easier. Beyond that, I've begun throwing out the panties because sometimes it's too much to deal with.

Next, wow, your hubbie is really lucky that you are such a sweet, reasonable person...there are many arguments is that it is his fault you are bleeding...if you were pregnant, you wouldn't be, LOL. Or offer to cut him (his genitals) so often that he bleeds all day and all night for 7-10 days and tell him he needs to keep the bandaids/wound care products up out of reach so you don't have to look at them. Or, just tell him that while you are on your cycle you could kill him for such comments, and a jury of your piers would be just as crazy as you feel and would cheer you before letting you off. Or, smile sweetly and just think such things.

Don Mills Diva said...

Just so you know - I just threw out a pair of underwear a few days ago - it's a small price to pay for not feeling nasty.

Anonymous said...

ru roh.
My husband would NEVER ask me a touchy question during Aunt Flo's visit.

He cherishes his face.

MeadowLark said...

This made me laugh. We've had the exact conversation at our house. The first time he had to deal with "droplets" he said "um... yeah... I guess it would make sense to keep them out" and that was the end of THAT!

Saw you at Crunchy's place. Followed you here. Hate politics because we're shafted either way ;)

Baby Favorite said...

TOTALLY, 100% right there with you!

And, yeah--I want my products within arm's reach. God knows the whole ordeal is messy and annoying enough without having to make it even messier and more annoying!

Men just don't get it.

Have you seen the Tampax (is it?) commercial where "Mother Nature" is waiting to greet vacationers with their "monthly gift?" Cracks me up every, single time.