Tuesday, August 12, 2008

My Front Fanny

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In my previous post, I told my 18-year-old self to quit hating her body. I think I need to heed some of that wise woman's advice.

We moved down to TX in late April. I decided when I moved that I would be making two changes. #1: no more continuous stash of Hershey's Kisses. Or Reese's miniatures. Or leftover Easter candy. Or leftover Halloween Candy. You get the point... I sucked down those Hershey's Kisses like a fast-tracked Harvard student sucks down speed. I knew they were empty calories and probably rotting my teeth, but MY GOD. THE CHOCOLATE. SO YUMMY. I seemed to need a little chocolate nugget every time something stressful happened. Like when I couldn't think of what to make for dinner. Or when the kids were fighting. So, basically, 75% of my waking hours. And change #2: I was going to join a gym. Kinda goes along with change #1. I figured that I would try to get healthier. My excuse when we lived in the midwest for not exercising was that I hated to walk in our neighborhood because it was so booorrrring. Also, I never joined a gym because the nearest one was 12 miles away and I knew I'd never motivate myself to get there. Plus the whole no on-site childcare thing. And I didn't have a nice pair of shoes. And I felt bloated. And I complain too much....

So. April. Moved into new house and felt motivated. No candy in the freezer. Check. Joined a gym in May. Check. Talked to a personal trainer. Check. Here's how that convo went:

Personal Trainer: So, why do you want to join (we'll call it) Silver's Gym?

Me: I'd like to be more healthy. I'd like to be able to ride bikes with my kids, play tag, go swimming, etc. Plus, I want a stronger heart. Basically, I want to live to see my grandchildren grow up.

PT: Wouldn't you like to lose weight and look hot?

Me: Sure, that would be nice. But that's not the reason I joined. I want to get some aerobic exercise. And I want to get some "me" time while the kids are at the Kid's Club.

PT: Okay, so how much weight would you like to lose?

Me: I don't care. Whatever. If I lost 20 pounds, I'd weigh less than when I graduated high school. I think if I lost more than 20 pounds, I'd be working at it constantly, counting calories and skipping desserts. That's not what I want. I want to live my life normally, but just with a bit more exercise.

PT: So what part of your body would you like to work on?

Me: Umm, I don't think you're listening to me. I just want to be more fit.

PT: Okay, here it is. Everyone who walks in those doors says they joined the gym for one of two reasons: to lose weight and look hot, or to be more healthy. The people who say they just want to be healthy are lying.

Me: Are you saying I'm lying? Of course I'd like to look better but let's face it. I'm 36. It would be silly to try to look 26. I've had 4 kids for pete's sake. I don't expect my stomach to be flat. It wasn't flat even before I had kids.

PT: So you want to work on your stomach? Because if you sign up with a personal trainer, we can get you that flat stomach in two months. I guarantee it.

Me: I'm going to go walk on the treadmill.

By this time he has already forgotten me and is staring at some ripped, toned 21-year-old college student on her way to step class.

Now, I probably should have just left Silver's Gym but I didn't. Truth be known, I like looking at those hot sweaty muscular ripped guys.... ok. focus. Yes, watching fit people exercise motivates me. Also when I see people who are heavy using the elliptical machine or lifting freeweights, inside myself I say a little, "Yeah! Go! You made it to the gym so keep going! You can do it!" It's just easier for me to exercise when I can see other people doing it too.

So, fast forward 3 months. I have been at it for 3 months. Typically I'm at the gym for about an hour, 3 times a week. Sometimes more. I usually run on the treadmill for 15-25 minutes (I've worked up to 1.5 miles, and I hate to run, so that's pretty good for me) and I do freeweights and machines. I also do sit ups, crunches, and leg-lifts. So, guess how much weight I've lost?????

Drumroll please.....

zero. nothing. nada. zilch. Holding steady at 160. But guess what size clothing I'm wearing?

Ready?

exactly the same. 14.


THIS SUCKS. WHY AM I BUSTING MY HUMP AND SWEATING AND PAYING FOR A GYM MEMBERSHIP??? Oh yeah. To be more fit. That's it.

So today, I went to the gym. Did all my exercises. Feelin' pretty pumped. I walk by the room where the step class is going on. I looked inside and saw the instructor. You would never in a million years believe what she was holding.

Go ahead and think, then guess.

Yes, she was holding her baby. In a front sling. WHILE SHE WAS DOING STEP CLASS. That pretty much blew my mind. This woman can look fantastic & fit. And teach class. And be about 5 months post-partum (guessing from the baby's size). And hold the baby the whole time.

Okay, if she can do all that, I can do a few extra lousy crunches. Go. Now. Crunch.

The crunch portion of the workout is the part I hate the most and the part I need the most. You see, I have a front fanny. Now before you ask what a front fanny is (in case you don't already know) I just googled it and did not find anything on it. But I did learn that "fanny" means something entirely different in the UK. Anyway, a person who has a front fanny has a front section that bears exceptional resemblance to the matching rear portion of her body. Instead of a butt crack, there is the muscle that runs from the navel down to the pubic bone. The unfortunate woman has front cheeks that come from multiple pregnancies, in most cases. But I expect it could also come from much weight gain. My personal experience is a combo of the former, resulting in the latter, followed by delivery, resulting in weight loss. Thus forming the front fanny, with the added bonus of sagging skin and stretch marks. I swore that in a million years I would never have a body like my moms. Well, welcome to the year 1,000,000 AD.

Luckily, I have always gotten back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Right now I am 5 lbs heavier than when I married my dream guy. But my front fanny needs work. It needs to be whipped into shape. I don't want "junk in my front", thank you very much J Lo. I don't expect a 6-pack, but I also don't want to scare away small children. "Mommy, why does that lady have a butt where her tummy is supposed to be?"

124 comments:

Lynette said...

I totally feel your pain. I'm hoping that soon I can start hitting the gym and get back in shape. Or look hot. Whichever comes first. :)

Burgh Baby said...

I try to remind myself every time we go for a looong bike ride that it's the being active that matters, not the hope for weight loss. Good thing, too, because my gut looks like I have a fanny pack tucked under my skin and it ain't going nowhere.

Don Mills Diva said...

I can't believe what an ass-hat that trainer was?!

Keep up the good work -muscles weigh more than fat right?

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

Not all trainers are like that.
He sounds like a real jerk---most people do the gym to be more healthy, I think.

On weight--try stepping up the aerobic work-out to at least 30 minutes--do they have a spin class? I love those and when I can get in a groove, I lose weight. For the 'front fanny' do pilates--it is great :)

dadthedude said...

funny as hell. thanks

I started doing adult bootcamp last October - I think that is the way to go if you can survive the first couple of weeks. It's a no BS workout!

Connie said...

I can't lose weight either. I tried really hard for about 4 months and then I quit.

Keep up the good work!

Loralee Choate said...

You know? I didn't used to believe the whole "I just want to be healthier" thing either.

I was big and was dying to be thin and pretty. Surely that is what drove everyone, right?

When I hit 300 lbs I felt so awful physically with a plethora of health issues that I didn't give a rat's ass what I looked like. I just wanted to feel better.

april kennedy said...

OMGosh...that post was too funny. Love the front fanny....I mean I don't love them...just love the word "front fanny"!

Lilly's Life said...

That post was truly great. Fantastic reading all the way through. Enjoy your SITS feature day!

1bitrcountrygirl said...

I've been struggling to lose weight as well....Publicly even....as in sharing my triumphs and fallbacks on my blog. I think that's what's keeping me honest. Right now we weigh about the same thing...I weighed in at 157.5 yesterday morning....I've been as high as 180. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one out there who is "struggling" with this issue.

P.S. Happy SITS day!

Mommyhood is Thankless said...

Stopping by from SITS, Congratulations on your feature. I too am working on the "front fanny"! See, I was raised with a british grandmother. I was initially confused because a "fanny" IS in the front :P

Mimi said...

Oh to be young again! Happy SITS day.

LaTonya Yvette said...

OMG You are too funny! I'm sitting here cracking up! I wish I had advise concerning your front fanny, but I'm in the same boat as you! You made my day! Happy SITS Day!

KC Mom said...

I hear ya girl. I exercised faithfully and daily for 15 years after I got married. Other then being pretty healthy I never got the hot body. So I taught myself a lesson, I stopped exercising for the last 3 years. I go for walks with the dog and take a class every now and then. Guess what. I'm the same size as always. Maybe not as tone and maybe I can't eat everything in front of me but I am tired of going to those gyms and busting my rear only to have the 20 year old walk by looking great.

Brenda Jean said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I love your conversation with the gym guy. I don't know how you kept from just slapping him in the face and saying "WAKE UP AND LISTEN!"

April said...

I don't know what it is, but gyms always intimidate me. They're nothing less than a meat market! Honestly! I prefer to work out in my home. We have a treadmill, weight machine, and free weights and it works out just fine.

Have a Happy SITS Day!!

Kimmie0270 said...

Happy SITS day! I totally understand about busting your butt at the gym and not loosing a lb. It stinks!

Mandy said...

I have been a subscriber to your blog for some time now. It was awesome to see that you were the FB today! Congrats!

Awesome post!

imbeingheldhostage said...

well dangit. I kept reading excitedly thinking you were going to give me the magic secret for getting rid of child-induced junk in the front... oh, and I am in the Uk, so I gasped when I saw this title (and kinda of wondered where else it would be?) :-)

Happy SITS spotlight day for you!

Heather said...

This is why I belong to the Y instead of one of the fancier gyms - the average age of the folks working out is like 80 and the average age of the trainers is like 50. Much less pressure in the "must look hot and ripped" area and more "encouragement to get/stay healthy" arena. And hey, the warm-water, osteoarthritis water aerobic class is just my speed! (Ahem, for the record, I'm almost 37....) hee hee!

Oh and Halloween candy leftovers? Kicking my butt (both of them - front and back!) this week! :P

Creative Junkie said...

Sigh. I've joined several gyms in my lifetime. I don't anymore. My husband says my memberships are akin to charitable contributions and there are more worthy causes out there.

That may have something to do with the fact that I never go.

suzi said...

Funny funny post. I am right there with you! Ugh. I hate going to the gym but I have to. It's almost all I can do to get out of the car instead of stay in the car and surf the web on my BlackBerry. Now, that is pathetic. ;)

Happy SITS Day!

Heather said...

The only thing that keeps me going to the gym is my workout partner/BFF. We are about the same shape and weight, and we keep neck in neck with a competitive spirit.

I gotta say, though, I have never exercised with a baby on my front. I am not that motivated. Doesn't breastfeeding burn enough calories?

BTW, Happy SITS Day!

Laurel MacD said...

Oh - I hate going to the gym strictly because people stare. They say they don't, but they do. I know, because I stare too.

Tonya said...

I love your humor! This the first blog I've read that I actually laughed out loud! Thanks for the laugh! Keep up the good work!

Toots said...

Hillarious! I had a very similiar conversation with a lady from LA fitness . . . "no, I'm okay with my weight, I just want to be able to climb a set of stairs without going into cardiac arrest." . . . and yes, I learned about the word fanny the unfortunate way . . imagine being in London and asking for something from my mother's "Fanny pack" . . . yeah it was bad . . . and I'm will you on the junk in the front . . . let's all try to avoid that . . . but geeze do i hate crunches . . .okay who cares about the junk in front, really? hehehe :-)

jewelstreet said...

I hate the gym! I always feel like such a slacker.

Shannon said...

Yes, the convo with the trainer... very funny.

I have never joined a gym. Maybe if I did, the fact that I'd be paying for the membership would motivate me to exercise more. Hmmmm.....

Reluctant Housewife said...

Too funny. Did you try googling "front butt" I think that might get you more hits than "fany"..

I have a front fanny, too. I've had it since I had a C-section. I do not like my front fanny. Also, I work out and I've had that exact same conversation with gym people... Me: I want to feel fit. Them: Don't you want to lose weight? Me: That's really not my main focus. But they don't seem to believe me.

Good luck with your gyming and your no-chocolate in the freezer! Don't forget that muscle weighs more than fat and that you can't always see the results (you can't see your cardio-vascular insides, after all).

Astrid said...

OMG! That trainer needed a good kick-in-the-you-know-what! I'm not sure how well I would have reacted to that sort of rudeness.

Keep up the good work! You're doing better than me! My weight has gone up and down and up and down and now up...It's frustrating. I really need to get back into jogging...I just don't want to! I have found it fun to jump on the trampoline for a few minutes.

Abounader Photography said...

I HATE working out... but I love the rush. so I'm still in limbo working it out.. Go you though for sticking to it!

Brandy said...

LMAO! This is great and I applaud you for even getting in the gym. I haven't managed to do more than pass it on my way to the coffee shop. ~sigh~

ScrappinAway said...

Those people at the gym don't care what you want they are just salemen, trying to get you to buy trainer packages. The trainers usually care a little more about you. Anyway I know what you mean about the front...I have PCOS so fat settles in the tummy area. I have found that cardio works the best to burn that fat. For me I don't just want to feel healthy though it is about the number, I am obsessed with for some reason, I weigh 2 or 3 a day, silly right?!

everyday mom said...

LOL you are too funny. I have the pooch at the front and figure it will always be there, I do crunches every night, ride my exercise bike and run around after a toddler and I battle and battle to be at 165. So I can feel your pain

Deanna said...

Here from SITS! I dont' want this to sound weird, but I love you!! I'm 11 months post-partum from my first and only pregnancy and still have about 15 pounds to lose. See, I got pregnant and then thought, "OH! I can finally eat what I want!" and what I wanted was hamburgers...lots of them. And my hubby knew they made me happy, so when the hormones kicked in, he got me hamburgers! ARGH!! So, now I have a saggy front fanny that makes me sad to see it and I'm working on it.

Jonny's Mommy said...

That is so funny! I have a front fanny too. And I hate it. Big time. I have no time to go to the gym because the Hubby and I work opposite schedules and I'm home with our son. It's a blast. Or not.

Legal Diva said...

Funny! I have 5 kids and I am blessed to be tall so the extra weight isn't so obvious and is easier to hide. I used to have a gym membership, but I just don't have time. Congrats on making it there and good luck- keep it up!

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Happy SITS day! Remind me to tell you about our pregnant yoga instructor. The one that could do yoga pushups. And bend like a pretzel. At seven months pregnant. Grrrrrrr.

Ronnica said...

Funny post! I especially love the conversation with the trainer. Oh, and no endless supply of chocolate? What kind of way to live is that? (I'm munching down on trail mix, and yes, it contains M&Ms).

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

Ok, I am not laughing! I totally can relate to having not lost the 10 extra pounds of baby weightI am carryin around and the baby is 7!

Tiffany said...

Oh my Lord, me too!!!!! I always gain a horrendous amount of weight when pregnant. I never lost it all last time (and had a C-section to boot)...and now I'm pregnanat again. Ugh. Starting out 40 pounds overweight makes me really dread what my front fanny will look like in about eight months. But hey! Kudos to you for MOVING your body!!! So you aren't losing weight? At least you KNOW you're working your heart and getting healthier!!

Vickie said...

This was funny. I feel the same way. I actually canceled my gym membership. I had no time and no money. I had two more kids and my junk everywhere has gotten bigger. Sounds like you always get back to near normal weight. Conggrats on pregnancy.

alt search said...

Front fanny! lol I haven't heard that word in about 40 years!!! It's a long story...Keep up the hard work...

Kristy said...

I so have a front fanny. After having 4 kids i can't help it. Id love to get rid of mine as well. I need to exercise more! thank for the great post, made me LOL!

litanyofbritt said...

haha great post! around here we call that front fanny a "gunt". i'm not a big fan.

Mrs. S said...

You're lucky you lost your baby weight. I have like 10 more of those pounds, 10 more of marriage pounds, and probably 20-30 more healthy pounds. Ugh!

Jamie said...

Good Morning! Happy SITS day! It's hard to lose weight....if it was easy everybody would be doing it right? I guess that's why there are sooo many rich plastic surgeons....If you don't like something about yourself you can have it surgically "removed." Good luck!

Kelly Deneen said...

Ugh! The gym! With pretty people! I so feel for you.

Aubrey said...

You're funny. My mom joined a gym a long time a go and was good at working out but didn't lose much weight. It wasn't until she joined weight watchersand kept working out that she began to see dramatic results and she did look pretty hot--and was a grandma too! Keep going (after this baby is born anyway)! :)

TL said...

HAPPY SITS DAY!
Be glad you have a gym... In our small town we don't - it's every girl for herself!
Loved your post (can so relate to the pb cup stash), off to read more!

Christie-A Work In Progress said...

Hi! Stopping by from SITS! Great post... I can totally relate... I have a whole blog devoted to it http://fatpantsfuneral.wordpress.com

justjuli said...

I feel your pain!! I joined a gym at the end of August and have not lost any weight!
But.... I FEEL more fit, and I can tell that my muscles are getting stronger and more pronounced (in a girly way - not like a bodybuilder). :)

Keep it up! Way to go!

THE ORDINARY HOUSEWIFE said...

LOL that was great :)

Margaret said...

I can't believe that trainer. A trainer really can help if you can find the right one. Make sure they have certification from a repitable sorce. Some don't. ACSP and ACE are both good.

Momma Trish said...

I feel your pain. Have had two children via fertility meds. Both medication and pregnancy affect weight, and I'm around 50 pounds heavier than I oughta be. *sigh* I need to exercise more and eat better. So hard to find time.

Nicole Pankratz said...

Okay...I'm dyin' over here! I mean, this post looks like it's been ripped straight from a page from my journal (wait, I don't have a journal...I blog) -- well, you get the point. I'm cryin' in laughter!! This is ME. Okay - my kids are looking at me like I've gone crazy now. Ha ha...after my 2 c-sections I have a "ba-donk-a-donk" front fanny!!!

Kathleen said...

Good for you on going for going consistently! And LOL at the convo with the gym employee! Happy SITS day!!!

Columbia Lily said...

totally feel ya....

TattooedMinivanMom said...

Great post! Love how you use humor to explain things. I love humor period.

Have a great day!

Cracker Scraps said...

Girl, when I was your age I weighed about the same as you! I was 5'4", now 5'3"!~ The first thing I say is "you've got the right attitude" focus on health not looking svelt! We are all not the same, just look at generations of women and try to tell me genetics don't play a part! When I ended my child bearing career I had a hysterectomy and a tummy tuck! I'm not skinny but at least I don't feel like I've got a rolled up beach towel in my pants!

Pregnancy changes your body, don't let anyone tell you it doesn't, we mothers know better! I had a 1.5" diastasis (separation between the abdominal muscles) before the tuck. Tell me carrying an 11.5# baby doesn't mess you up!

I've gotten on the YMCA band wagon too. Water aerobics is my choice! I've lost 20 pounds in the last year by just keeping the junk out of the house (which is a lot easier with no kids at home)!

If you want a tummy tuck, start saving money for it and get one! I'm here to tell you it hurt like hell afterward but 10 years out it is still so worth it!

I'm jealous b/c I could never get pregnant again when I remarried after my divorce. My DH had never been married so we wanted a child together. After $20,000.00 in infertility treatment they finally found out what my problem was and I was told I was lucky to have the two children that I do have! I have an antibody that fights the fertalized egg from implanting!

OMG, be careful what you ask for! Just when I quit the in vitro treatment my kids turned into teenagers! DH and I looked at one another and said! Whew! Thank You God! You know what is best for us!

Can you see me now at 54 with a set of 14 y/o twins? I think not! I'll just wait for the grans to arrive! I got one in April when my son married a woman with a 4y/o daughter. That child can flat wear me out!

Diamond said...

Happy SITS DAY!
I feel your pain, and at 36 also, with 3 kids, I just want to be at my best, health-wise. Who has time for looking hot?? :-D

Jaden Paige said...

hahaha you cracked me up with this post! I can totally relate to the woes of trying to get back in shape, and how frustrating it can be when you don't see results right away.
I am the opposite of you though, I dislike working out in the gym- it's not about watching the other people- for me it's about them being able to watch me sweat and struggle... lol. I know, a little insane, but. Anyway, I have been keeping my eye out for a cheap elliptical on Craigslist, because I'd like to be able to get in some cardio. Right now I just do body weight exercises, and I think I've pretty much hit my peak with that.
This is long. Sorry! Happy SITS day, and keep up the good fitness work! I swear, it will pay off in the end. If you need some motivation, you should check out www.sparkpeople.com they are free and great and have helped me a lot!

Aleta said...

LMAO - oh man, I wish that laughter burned calories, because after reading your posts, I'd have lost a couple of pounds for sure.

Enjoyed your honesty and oh wow. Learn something new every day. I didn't know that Fanny had a different meaning!

Michele said...

Junk in the front? Now, that's good humor! What a shame it is that in this society the "beautiful female body" is one that has not born children.

lmerie said...

Your post are fabulous!!

Rachel Ann said...

Way to go! I recently joined Jazzercise (that sounds so Richard Simmons...but I live in a small town with limited options!) and I've been going 3 times a week, and I'm trying to bump up to 4-5 times a week. I need to be healthy and lose a ton of weight!

Keep up the good work!

Saundra@An Italian Mama Gone Crazy said...

Holy Cow!!! I am cracking up!!! I have a front fanny too!

I'm leaving now to go walk 900 miles...

Annikke said...

I joined a gym and got the same schpeel about losing wieght and toning up. They told me my yogurt for breakfast wasn't good enough and I should buy their food bars. WHATEVER. I said I was here to get fit "so shut up you skinny little thing. Just wait until you have 4 babies and see how your body looks. Leave me alone to walk the treadmill. ALONE!" Ok I didn't say all that to her, but I wanted to.

Paige said...

I have no excuse for a front fanny never having ever had kids--but yet people ask me when I am due. Nothing can ruin your day faster that is for sure

I re-joined the Gym on Tuesday and SWEAR I will do four days a week or else.

So help me God

Megan said...

LOL

Until January of this year, I refused to work out in a gym. Then my mom and I joined a gym and we've been going ever since. It's definitely motivating watching others work out.

Happy SITS day. =)

Katie said...

Oh, you inspire me! How desparetly I need a gym membership. I have a hard time motivating myself to go without someone to help me. Props to you!

Clippergirl56 said...

Happy SITS day. Your post is so funny. I can definitely relate.

The Tripp Family said...

you're hilarious! good for you for getting to the gym regularly!! Love your stars blog background too! Can't wait to read your next 2 :)

Carrie said...

AWESOME! So funny...I'm dyin' here!!

Melodie said...

I need to exercise more, but I refuse to get another gym membership that I won't use. I've been trying to walk around my neighborhood more now that the weather is cooler, but it's difficult when my two year old wants to walk, too, because it slows me WAY down. I think I may have to make a deal with her to go around once in her stroller at my speed, and then again walking at her speed.

Heather said...

Front Fanny...I love it! Well, not literally, they aren't very lovable but I do love the term!

Michelle said...

Congratulations on your SITS day!! This post is incredibly hilarious, thank you for sharing. Keep in mind that your excercising does keep your heart and lungs healthy even if you aren't dropping any pounds. That should count for something right? And as you've said your stamina and endurance have improved since you've worked your way up on the tread mill. Thats something. Best Wishes.

Michelle said...

I loved your conversation with the trainer. LOL! I also find watching other people working out motivating. The biggest motivator for me is working out with friends. They don't cut you any slack and hound you if you skip working out.

Just say Julie said...

Happy SITS day! I started the gym this year because of the 30th birthday looming. But I had to find a class that wouldn't bore me and I have to have people yell at me. I cracked up reading your convo with the trainer, cause that's exactly how mine went. Which is why I quit. but I did find a fabulous replacement: Crossfit. I love it, and I feel so much stronger and healthier than I have in a long time.

Wendy said...

That cracks me up. I see a Saturday Night Live skit here.

trasha said...

Phew! Am soooooooooo glad you explained that whole 'front fanny' thing b/c it was worrying me where this post was going to lead!!!!

Nikkolish said...

Oh.My.Gosh. I was cracking up reading this post! The front fanny is hysterical...but oh-so-sad to see it on yourself. I've only had one baby, but I was a bit bigger before and I'm totally rocking the front fanny. ;) Good luck with getting healthier! Congrats on being the SITS FB today too...you definitely deserve it!

Kendra said...

I've only read one post and I'm already in love, lol. I never thought of it as a front fanny - now I can't get the image out of my mind and want to get rid of it that much more, lol.

G. said...

that trainer was definitely not a keeper. Pretty rude if you ask me. Congrats to you for keeping up your workout even if it's just to "get fit".:) I enjoyed reading your blog. Congrats on your "sauciness!"

jori-o said...

AHAHahahaha! Wow, you learn something new everyday, huh? Did NOT know about fannies in the UK (is that being vulgar??). And you. are. hilarious. Enjoy your SITS day!!

Amy said...

Visiting thru SITS. Too darn funny. I hate my stomach too and that is they only problem I deal with. It sucks :D

Susan said...

Happy SITS Day! I hear you on the gym thing. I did it steadily for about a month (every day for 30 days), then preschool started and I was off running in a million different directions. Now I can't seem to find a few free minutes to do anything!

Good for you wanting to be healthier! If I could just cut out driving thru McDonalds, I'd be golden.

meg said...

Congrats on the SITS feature!
Painfully funny truth hear- the front fanny is no fun, especially trying to find jeans that fit (Mama doesn't do Jelly Roll :-P); but you know, if I lose the front, I'll have to lose the back roll too, or I might fall over :-S

Jacie said...

I hear ya! My front fanny is small, but it's an eye sore. Luckily I'm the only one who sees me naked (well hubby too now and then). I'm at a good weight and even do some crunches here and there, but I don't think that front fanny will ever disappear. It's just another reminder of mommyhood. Good thing those kids are worth it. :)

Natalie said...

hey, we could so be friends! i think i had that same conversation with a trainer in june when i joined...er, um, silver's gym!!! i am a texan too! so where are you. email me... maybe we are close to one another...never know. of course texas is so big that it might be closer for me to meet an oklahoma bloggy buddy! :-)

S. Elie said...

I know what you mean, I have been telling myself to start working out again, I want to healthy and have energy like my 3 year, but then i get home from work...

Lavender n Lattés said...

Ahh..it's so nice to hear that someone else also has the sagging tummy with stretch marks!!! I feel much better now :)

angie said...

Funny! I'm not a mom, and my nephew said he likes my belly more than mommy's, because hers looks like a bean bag!

Becky :) said...

Ok that's just down right funny. I felt the same way when I went to join my gym. And I would have been mortified to see a gym teacher holding her baby in a sling while working out. I would have felt inaddiquate. :-)

Happy SITS Day!!!!!

The Boss Lady said...

Sweetheart, I SO feel your pain. My front fanny is bigger than my rear fanny, is that cool?

Happy SITS Day & thanks for giving me a giggle!

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

HIlarious! You are too funny. How is the front fanny doing today?

Finding Normal said...

OMG, I have it too. I call mine the elephant ear. Except when I'm bloated. The whole belly is saggy and covered in stretch marks from the 10 lber 4 years ago. I swear I'm going to have a tummy tuck when I decide we're done having kids. But first I need to lose about 20 pounds because I'm not a 14 anymore. 16 since the kids, and hating it!
Happy SITS Day!

Anna Lefler said...

Happy SITS day! Ahhh, "front fanny." Now I have a name for that thing I see when I look down.

Awesome.

;^) Anna

wendy said...

You are very funny! Thanks, again, for the chuckles! Happy SITS day!

jubilee said...

And I get discouraged when I don't lose anything in the first three weeks. You've held out much longer than I ever have. You go girl!

Rhea said...

OMG, you're hilarious...and honest. I love it. That personal trainer SO did NOT get it. SAD. I hear ya though, and I love ya for it! Nice post.

Tabitha Blue said...

LOL, that is way to funny!! Love the gym story!!! :)

littleeverydaythings said...

I'm totally with you. I think a lot of people don't go to the gym because they think they have to look hot already to even go work out. I told my trainer I wanted to start out slowly (after a foot injury), and she worked me so hard that I hurt for days and days and didn't go back after the 3rd time. It was just too discouraging - I couldn't keep up! Thanks for the funny post, I enjoyed it so much :)

sassy stephanie said...

Yay you gittin' all featured! This is a hilarious post!

greedygrace said...

Hee hee! Love the front fanny!

How tall are you? I'm also a size 14, but I weigh a bit more than 160...

Congrats on your sits feature!

Michelle said...

Hey, I'm impressed that you're running a 1.5 miles! That's great! I've been working at it and was there and then ummm summer came and I'm just now working my way back. And I know how it feels to hate running and still do it. And ummm not lose any weight.

And the fanny. Good name. Yucky thing. Which is why I am always so glad that I don't have my cell with me when running on the treadmill at the club watching the infomercial for the Kyomara support system. Really, you'd be amazed at what it does. And the irony gets me EVERY time. :)

Z's Mom said...

I totally hear you.....I'm just so full of excuses right now....

Marrdy said...

I feel your pain. Those baby tummies never go away! Keep at it. Think how strong your heart will be.

Melissa Lester said...

Oh, I'm finding that the post-pardum baby weight loss can be tough. Although since my youngest is 2, I don't know if I can blamed pregnancy for my extra pounds now! Seriously, though, I think I gain weight just at the thought of losing it. Our digital scale will keep a record of two subject's weights, and I recently weighed myself before starting a diet. I got a round number, much higher than I would have liked, but I thought it would be a good starting point for my weight loss journey. So I stepped off the scale, set it to record my weight, stepped back on, and I was two pounds heavier!

Brooke said...

Isn't that the truth!! it is SO frustrating. I just want to loose 10-15 pounds. IS that toomuch to ask? It is so hard when you have skinny hubby too! Just know, you are not alone!

Mama's Losin' It said...

Thanks for reminding me to hit the gym!! (not really) and what is that a baby ticker?? You're preggo again!?! Woo hoo!!! Congrats...now you can lay off those ab workouts for a bit. :)

Adrian said...

Popping over from SITS. I SO get what you're saying. I don't have the front fanny, but I could easily pass for 4 months preggers even though my youngest is 10! And I've been on Weight Watchers for 4 months and I've maybe lost 2 lbs - sheesh! It's hard being a woman.

Kara said...

LOL! I just love the way you write. Hope you are still hitting the gym because you are one of the few that does it for the right reasons!

Jennifer said...

Wow! I thought you were describing me for a sec! I've had 4 kids and around 160 and my tummy needs work!! Great post! I enjoyed reading it! Oh yea, and I need to join a gym!

Blicky Kitty said...

Oh congratulations for your saucy day and congratulations for your great commitment to fitness. I'm so happy that you are able to laugh at the idiot personal trainer. It's so much healthier for women to focus on health or some fitness milestone rather than on trying to look a certain way. You should feel proud about being healthy.

Rachael said...

OMG, I was sort of able to hold it together until... "Mommy, why does that lady have a butt where her tummy is supposed to be?". Lucky I wasn't drinking anything because it would be all over my monitor.

david mcmahon said...

Imerie sent me here - and I'm glad I followed the link. I stay fit by playing tennis against a brick garage wall!

Dee from Downunder said...

When I joined one on a 5 day trial, the 4th day I got a girl, who "went though the motions" outright asked if I was joining up or not, then signed me up, and I was not her problem anymore. Cow. when an older lady came up to her one day advising she had be having palpitations after exercising, the Cow just fobbed her off, with "oh, maybe you should see your doctor..." and wandered off! I could not believe it!
I got better results from the aerobic step class than anything else.

Anyway, I came via SITS. Fanny here means the same as the UK.

Catherine said...

I feel your pain! I recently re-joined the gym and am both motivated and intimidated by all the hotties working out.

Good luck to us both!

Stephanie Graham said...

Hahahahaaaa!!! You are hysterical- I can't wait to read your other two posts!

angela | the painted house said...

You go, Exercising Mama!

Momma Drama said...

Oh man, that was hilarious. Have you seen The Gosselins on TLC? She had a mean front fanny that she had "fixed". One kid for me and I already feel saggy baggy.

WheresMyAngels said...

I'm got the front fanny thing. My daughters dance teacher also teaches with her baby strapped on her!! lol

Crystal said...

front fanny? that is the funniest thing I have heard all day! :)