Monday, September 22, 2008

Grocery Cart Etiquette

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Have a fantastic day! Thanks for stopping by here!
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Dear Ladies (and Gents),
Please turn your attention to the following information, and adhere to the suggestions as closely as possible. Your cooperation is appreciated. Thank you.

Proper Etiquette when Using a Grocery Cart
1. Please look straight ahead when steering. Please do not push your cart while studying your shopping list. This is tantamount to driving while texting. Don't you know, there are innocent children in the aisle?

2. If you find an item you like on a shelf, please keep your cart near to you or pull off to the side of the aisle, out of the way of others. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, do not park your shopping cart on one side of the aisle while you have a leisurely look at the products on the opposite side of the aisle. The only thing worse than this, is the person who pushes their cart directly down the middle of the aisle and performs the halt-n-gawk.

3. Be observant of other shoppers around you. Be a defensive cart-driver. If you wish to take your time mosey-ing down the aisle, please watch for others around you who may be doing their best to acquire the necessary child-quieting items, lest the Earth implode upon itself. These items may include, but are not limited to: fruit snacks, pop-tarts, Oreos, Goldfish Crackers, Kool-Aid squeezers, and of course 10-inch plastic bouncy balls.

4. Also, if you are the Indy-500 type of cart-driver, please be sensitive to those around you who may be speed challenged. It is possible that they have time to walk down the aisle at a normal step pace, instead of testing the sturdiness of the wheels on a grocery cart that is easily older than your own minivan.

5. A special note to the under-20 employees at Wal-Mart, Albertsons, and other fine retailers who use the motorized cart-collectors. It is not only annoying but also impolite for you to collect the shopping carts and put them into a huge line of carts RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PARKING LOT LANE. You might have noticed that the parking lot is filled with cars. Those cars move people from place to place. The operative word being "move". It is impossible for a car to move when there is a teenager in charge of assembling no less than 50 shopping carts at one time, while he (usually it's a he) decides to take a quick break and text his sick dudes.

6. Finally, if a small child is buckled in to a cart and begins to wave at you, smile at you, or say "hi" to you, please break out of your shopping coma and notice the child. Wave back. Make a funny face. It might even cheer you up.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,
The Grocery Cart Police

101 comments:

Bridge said...

pretty funny!

Bridgett said...

Never seen the motorized thingies. Here's it's a big rope with a hook at the end.

One I'd add--if your kids demand the "car" themed grocery cart, please see that they ride in the car. Sometimes other kids like those carts too, and it baffles the average 3 year old to see adults pushing the obviously child-centered car cart with no child inside.

Carrie Thompson said...

You deserve a blog award for this post! Seriosly, I might have to make one up just for you! This was hilarious!!!!! I sincerely ditto everything written!!!!

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

Hmmmmm...I'm thinking someone had a bad run in at the grocery store ;)

I am guilty of lots of these things, except ignoring a child--NEVER--or speeding, too much yummy food to enjoy!

BUT I do try to do my shopping at Whole Foods early, early in the morning when it is near empty and the only other shoppers are more like me. (You didn't mention it but I am also THAT shopper who goes to grab something she forgot while the cashier is checking her out--thankfully I see the same cashier and she loves me, I think.)

Yeah, I smile A LOT and say 'sorry' when shopping ;)

Carrie Thompson said...

Hey I did it! come and get your award!

Rhea said...

Right on! Those rules/manners need to be posted ON THE CART so people will read them.

Also, people need to throw away their trash. I end up with carts with weird trash in them...or wonky wheels. Hate those damn wonky wheels.

binks said...

You forgot the rule of never, ever, ever let a child under the age of 21 operate the machinery!
I can't tell you how many times I have been bumped, rammed and slammed by children in control of the cart.

My husband, however, is guilty of the "leave the cart in the middle of the aisle and wander off" rule.
Drives me INSANE!!

Great Post!

The Nice One said...

Ha ha ha!!!!!! Great rules!

Christine said...

Totally. There is one grocery store that I avoid like the plague - for some reason, the people who shop there are the crankiest, rudest, shouldn't be outside-much less in a place where there are children kind of people. Instead, I drive one half of a mile down the road, to the exact same named store cough*publix*cough and it is a completely different (read: pleasant) shopping experience.
Really people, grocery shopping is a necessary evil; can't we just be nice to each other while we do it?

The Mrs. said...

Excellent points. My fave is the last one. So many times my little ones wave at people from the cart only to be greeted with nasty looks. They aren't spitting on you, they are waving. And they are little, just smile and move on folks.

Elizabeth said...

grocery cart police: I agree whole-heartedly! haha very nicely put

april kennedy said...

I am a speed racer at the grocery store...but always say sorry when tailgating!

1bitrcountrygirl said...

I agree with every one of the things in your post! Love it!

Kimberly said...

Hahaha, too freakin funny. I am a weirdo that loves shopping, but after working nights myself at a grocery store, I got used to and almost always shop at night time. Night time = less people!

This week I took my husband and shopped in the daytime hours, and grrrrr, I hate it. So freakin crowded and people are grocery cart impaired! Love this post!!!

Sara-Beth said...

Love it!! It is reasons like these that my husband does the grocery shopping and my daughter and I stay home.

Mimi said...

Don't ya ever wonder, if their that bad with a cart, how well can they drive on the road?

LaTonya Yvette said...

I love it! You should be a comedian

Happy SITS Day!

KC Mom said...

I think these rules may have been for me...have I run into you lately? I'm pretty much...get out of my way!

HeatherY said...

I think those should be posted in all shopping stores!

Wanda said...

GOD BLESS YOU!

Great post! I would have to add a few other's to this....but girl, you are right on!

Love your blog!

April said...

So funny...love it!!

Mandy said...

Too funny!

imbeingheldhostage said...

Hilarious and so true. This should be printed and given out at the supermarket doors!

Creative Junkie said...

LOL! These should be posted on every end cap in every grocery store.

heathersister said...

Hahahahahahahahahaha
That is funny and sooooo true.

Preston said...

Excellent! How hasn't run into those shopping cart situations? But how about this one: The Traffic Jam. Ugh. I hate it when two or three shoppers face off in an aisle with one "oblivious" shopper in the middle. Speak up. Ask them to move. Cars have horns but carts have to rely on the spoken word. That's all I gotta say about that...B-T-W I love the way your blog looks.

Abounader Photography said...

Friggin HIlarious !I'm printing out copies of this, lamenating it and passing it out to idjits at the grocery store!

Tonya said...

Again, great sense of humor. I'm so glad you are SITS featured blogger today and I came over for a visit!

Toots said...

AMEN! I'm with you 100%!!!

jewelstreet said...

Ha! That's funny. I admit I have been caught doing the halt and gawk once or twice, but for the most part, I follow all the rules.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Great post... I think we should print this up and post it in all the big box stores and grocery stores. Funny stuff, too.

Shanda said...

Congrats on being featured today!! Love this post! So true and so funny!

Maybe the Grocery Cart Police could address another issue...the ultimate returning of the cart...with multiple little ones (unless you are able to park near the cart return) it is nearly impossible to return your cart without some kind of "disgrace"...leaving your cart in the parking area or leaving the kiddos bucked for a minute while you return it on your own...people around here get all worked up if they see a child sitting strapped in their vehicle for even a nanosecond...

Astrid said...

GREAT POST!

Fortunately I haven't had too many issues with this. Most of the people seem to be polite. :)

Brandy said...

I agree with all your observations but I have to add that while I wave to the little kids in the basket I don't want to have them run me over when you let them push the over-sized cart. Or wait for them to make an important choice between two different jellies as you repeatedly say "which one Johnny?". For heavens sake ONE of you make a decision.

Okay I'm off the soap box now. Thanks.

Heather said...

Oh AMEN SISTER, especially for #5 - I've actually played "chicken" with those dudes and their impossibly long motorized conga line of oversized carts at Sam's Club. I didn't WANT to play chicken, I was just trying to GET HOME before I had a nuclear meltdown from the booster seat in back or an actual meltdown of like 60 pounds of frozen chicken breasts in the way back. They will inch along, then stop and take a break to practice staring at the clouds or something, while I'm all "excuse me? EXCUSE ME!" trying to get past. GRRRRR.

Oh - one other issue we have 'round here: the mini-carts for kids. Have you seen these? The "Shopper in training" carts? Great idea, in theory, but all this means is that along with trying to not run down/be run down by oblivous adults, now you've got kids well below your sightline careening about and crashing their carts into your calf area. Fun!

ScrappinAway said...

I agree! It is my pet peeve though when people don't return their carts and you go to park, but every space has a cart in it. And the people I see that are most guilty of it aren't the moms with multiple kids, but women who are obviously in a hurry or just plain lazy. I watched one lady push a big box out to her car and load it without any help and then just leave the cart at the front of the space and the return was just to spaces over!!!!

Legal Diva said...

We have the little buggies for kids and the kids are just following the lead of their ignorance is bliss parents. God help us all. Wonderful PSA!

Noah's Mommy said...

Here...Here.....

Jennifer and Sandi said...

HOW HANDY!! Great Post
- Jennifer

Ronnica said...

What bugs me is when people "drive" on the wrong side of the aisle. Get to the right, people!

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

Dear Grocery Cart Police:

Can you come to the Luke AFB commisary AKA commiscary? You see it is located near the retirement mecca of Sun City. It is frequented by those who rightfully deserve to be there because they are veterans. But they are cranky, slow, middle of the aisle veterans. While I am no spring chicken, I do pull over and also wave to the cracker covered baby belonging to the young airmans wife who is oh so greatful.

Vickie said...

What a wonderful PSA! I have park on the wrong side of the aisle, now I am ashamed. Though I do watch out for other people.

Mrs. S said...

This is so funny! Especially the last 2. The motorized shopping cart collector is so annoying! I don't think it makes their job any easier; it just makes driving in the parking lot harder!

And I can't stand when people don't even notice my kid when he's smiling or singing EIEIO or waving at them. He's cute! Wave people!

thebitrcountrygirlcooks said...

So true....Giggled the whole way through that post!

Aubrey said...

So true. And why I shop at night when my kids and the old ladies and almost everyone else are in bed.

justjuli said...

Thank you for this post! I abhor grocery aisle traffic jams. Especially when a little consideration could easily resolve them!

Happy SITS day!

Maggii said...

GReat Post....and soooooo needed..LOL

I also hate when two shoppers will stop side by side to pick their items..I'm
m always careful NOT to stop right next to someone else so that other shoppers have a path....it irritates me when other shoppers don't seem to understand that concept....

Momma Trish said...

Amen!

Margaret said...

Such a great post.

Jamie said...

Hillarious! Yeah smile at the cute kiddos at least!! Cute blog! Love your advice!

Jaden Paige said...

You are hilarious. I am adding you to my blogroll :)

lmerie said...

Hysterical! I agree with you oh so much!

Over from SITS - have a great FB Day!

Aleta said...

Aww, I love when children wave and smile. Nothing more precious than a child's smile! I'd definitely wave back. Oh, one thing to add - when a grocery store has opened back up after a hurricane, please Grocery Store Managers - make sure that you stock up on Chocolate (for the women) and Beer and Cigarettes (for the men). And be a polite shopping, don't look at the groceries in someone else's basket! Lol Thoroughly enjoyed your post!

Jennifer P. said...

The one about waving to the kids---I get angry at "coma shoppers" who don't take not of my obviously precious children smiling at them ;)!

I think you need to add an apendix about the people shopping the motorized scooters--they are like EVERYWHERE you want to be!! :)

Great post---great blog!!!

Saundra@An Italian Mama Gone Crazy said...

lol!!!

i DON'T UNDERSTAND why people won't/can't smile and wave to a child!

Great post!

Michele said...

Love it! Very creative. I think I may have been guilty of a shopping cart violation or two. Eek.
Sorry, Grocery cart police.

Annikke said...

Amen. That's all I can say. I totally agree and I laughed through this whole post!

Megan said...

AMEN!!

That's all. lol =)

Katie said...

I HATE the motorized grocery cart thingys. Winco is the worst around here!! I agree about the smiling at babies thing...my kids are constantly flirting with everyone and it's interesting to see people's reactions.

Clippergirl56 said...

I could not have said it better myself.

The Tripp Family said...

that was great! my favorite is when they park all the shopping carts in front of the empty Best-Parking-Spot-in-the-Whole-Lot so that I can't get into it. Then, surely as I give up waiting, they move the carts, I try to make it back around in time, and the car in front of me takes it. Usually teenagers. While my children scream in the car.

Carrie said...

I especially love the last one, as I have a very friendly 13 month old who says hi to everyone--everywhere we go.

AJ said...

I agree with all of the above. The last one reminded me of my DD when she was 2. She used to ask everyone who talked to her if they wanted to come home with her. It always mortified me.

Jen said...

sorry, I am so guilty of this. I will try and fix, try.

Congrats on your day. Enjoy all the love and comments.

Heather said...

I concur! Now how to get the message out to the masses...

Kristy said...

LOL! I totally agree with every single rule!

Queenie Jeannie said...

Oh my gosh, isn't that the truth!!! Every bit of it!!!

Congratulations on being the featured blogger today!! Just look at all the bloggy love you're getting!!!!!

Karol said...

You should print this, copy and post it at the grocery store!!

*happy SITS day!

G. said...

I admit that I am guilty of several of these at times. Except for the under 20 employees, the waving at the kids, and maybe one other. :) I also have gotten mad at people for doing several of these...the same ones that I do. I guess that makes me a shopping cart hypocrite.(lol) :)
Very funny. I should print this out and keep it in my wallet to remind me to use proper etiquette with my shopping cart. Thanks for the laugh. :)

jori-o said...

Very good advice. I'm afraid I may occasionally need to be ticketed by the GCP, but now that I know the rules, I will certainly be more mindful. Great post! ;)

Amy said...

Well said :D

Susan said...

Can you post that at all Wal-Mart stores nationwide? Great advice!

meg said...

You must have seen the run in I had with the Nascar racer at the grocery last night- my ankle has a huge bruise :-(

Jacie said...

I'm convinced the only people in the world who really care about the proper use of carts are moms.

Natalie said...

seriously, these should be posted! along with the rule that people should clean out their trash out of the cart so that i don't have to!

S. Elie said...

I totally agree. They should have these posted on every shopping cart along with a box of wipes to clean the shopping carts.

Great post.

I am Barking Mad said...

Totally Stumbled this! I think there should be some sort of law that this needs to be posted in the area where you grab a shopping trolley and then right where some carts have those stupid ads. Yep, in big bold text!

Auds at Barking Mad!

The Fishers said...

Amen! Thank you for writing what we are all thinking!

Lynette said...

LOL. I am going to print this out, make a t-shirt and wear it everytime I go to the commissary!

Lavender n Latt├ęs said...

This is a great post! I have felt exactly the same way many, many times. Sometimes people are just oblivious to their surroundings. And yes, please acknowledge the child!!!

angie said...

Not only do I agree with all of those, but also - Please put your cart in a cart corral in the parking lot! It's not going to hurt you to walk a little more and get some exercise!

The Boss Lady said...

Hee hee, you totally made me giggle again. I think I'll be adding you to my blogroll...

Becky :) said...

Holy Cow!!!!!!!!! I could not have said it better myself. You have now found a new fan to your blog. You are awesome. And I may have to come back and ask you if I can use this.

You are the perfect Blog to feature on SITS today, Congrats!!!

Finding Normal said...

I'm so the speed driver. I'm sorry. I just want to get in and get back out. I try not to run over people. I would also like to request that people not bring the entire family. Seriously. You don't need 5 kids and a husband and your great aunt and her daughter's cousin. 1 or 2 people per cart. Otherwise you're clogging the aisle all up!

Anna Lefler said...

My favorites are men who go to the grocery store and seem to have no idea how anything works. You wonder where the woman is who's been taking care of them all their lives...

tee hee...

wendy said...

Bahahaha!! Grocery Cart Police! I love that! :)

Thanks for the chuckles and happy SITS day!

Rhea said...

I remember reading this before and commenting. It's a GREAT post!!

jubilee said...

Happy SITS day. I once thought I was going to be accosted by the dairy police at our local grocers. Are they different than the cart police, I wonder?!

Tabitha Blue said...

So well put!! We need that posted in every grocery store!!

Marrdy said...

Oh I love this. I may just print it out and take it shopping with me. "Excuse me, can you read? Excellent, here's something to help you lose that lovely moronic ability you have!"

Melissa Lester said...

Very funny! I would add to your list, if you pass a crying baby in another shopping cart, please do not stop the other cart to ask the child what it wrong. Chances are, it is past naptime and the baby's mother driving the cart is only halfway through her shopping list. And the longer you delay her task, the louder the crying is going to get. If you sincerely want to help, offer to take the list, buy the items she still needs, and deliver them to her home.

Melanie said...

Amen sista!

Kara said...

Well put! Hope Miami shoppers read this.

Jennifer said...

Too cute! What a fun post!

Blicky Kitty said...

Hmmm...I'll have to write those down and pass them out at the store. I would be a public service right?

Rachael said...

Great advice!

Dee from Downunder said...

love this. over here, out carts (we call them trolleys) are collected by kids driving tractors and a trolley trailer.... the speed they go through the car park at, I am surprised no little kid has been run over. I yelled at one of them one day, it annoyed me so much.

Catherine said...

GREAT post! I agree with all your points. Here's another one - Strangers, please don't touch babies in other people's carts. That's just... unsanitary.

Stephanie Graham said...

I think I have violated all those rules at least once- except for #6... I can make a funny face with the best of them!

WheresMyAngels said...

I love playing bumpers with the carts. Am I not suppose to do that?

Denine said...

Very funny!