Friday, October 17, 2008

Got Snark?

What do you do when you get a snarky comment on your blog?

So far, I have received two on mine. Oh of course I've gotten many a snarky response to a comment I made on someone else's blog, but I kinda expect that. I don't apologize for my opinions and I think they are just that - MY opinions. You don't have to agree with me but for Pete's sake, does anyone really need to be rude about it?

If I say I don't like {insert my opinion here}, please don't call me a hate monger. Or an idiot. Or narrow-minded. Or intolerant. Has anyone ever told these people that the very definition of intolerance involves not tolerating other people's point of view? AREN'T THEY DOING THAT TO ME???

Opinions are owned by the person who holds them. I'm not trying to push my opinions on anyone. Usually, I don't even offer my opinion unless asked. If you don't want my opinion, WHY WOULD YOU ASK? ARE YOU ONLY INTERESTED IN THE OPINION THAT AGREES WITH YOURS??? Just have a conversation with yourself. It would be easier, and no one would ever disagree with you.

I think the true mark of respect between two adults is when they can talk about differing opinions or opposite sides of a point of view, and use calm voices, and not interrupt, and thoughtfully listen to what the other person is saying. Any idiot with or without manners can get into a verbal ass-whipping. It takes a mature individual to express his or her feelings and opinions in a clear but also tactful manner, all the while exercising self-control.

Okay, so, enough about opinions. Because let me tell ya, getting on the blog scene has shifted that portion of my conscience into overdrive. Everybody's got an opinion. And if I see one I disagree with, I try to be polite and I respectfully disagree. I don't name call. I don't say anyone is stupid. I try very hard not to offend.

So when I get an offensive comment, it hurts. I'd like to say, "oh, yeah. whatever. like water off a duck!" But really, it's more like salt in a wound. I want to jump through the computer and say "WHAT THE HELL??? IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME THEN JUST CLICK ON SISTER!" But of course those snarky people always post as "Anonymous". Cowardly bastards.

So, here's my question for y'all: When, or if, you get a snarky comment, do you let it lay on your comment section or do you delete it?

And, for Blogger users: do you get as frustrated as I do that people can comment without leaving an e-mail address? I get many AWESOME comments too, and I would love to reply to these folks in e-mail, but they have not registered their e-mail with Blogger. And, of course, if an e-mail address was required I could find the cowardly bastard from Port Charlotte, FL who left the snarky comment for me, saying

The world really doesn't depend on us to keep reproducing! Think about the impact your procreating will have on the world's resources. Yes, I'm being judgmental but I honestly do not understand American women who feel a need to have great numbers of children. Good luck but you don't deserve my empathy.


Whew. I really do feel better now. Blogging really IS theraputic.


Karin Katherine said...

Well, thankfully I have not gotten any snarky comments yet on my blogs. I'm a new blogger. I would NOT post it though because I'm not good with the snappy come backs and I don't see the point.

I used to live in a neighborhood that was famous for neighbors who liked to leave anonymous notes. Talk about irritating. I've grown a backbone from that experience and I feel that if someone doesn't care to leave their name and has to hide then I don't need to give a second thought or response to their comment.

Courtney's World said...

Well first off on the 5th pregnancy! I am still trying to convince hubby for #2.

I am new to this so no bad comments yet, but I would probably just delete them. It's not worth my time, and apparently that is all they have on there hands is time to leave comments like that.

I think they shouldn't be allowed to leave anonymous comments. Grow a pair people. Haha.

The Nice One said...

I think you may be able to change your privacy settings to not allow anon. comments.

Also, the more children we have, the better chance we have at actually receiving social security in our old age. Considering our parents, the Baby Boomers, are going to wipe us all out, we're dependent on our generation to produce record numbers of children to help support us in our grey years. Okay, I'm off to reproduce!

(yes that was snarky)

MeadowLark said...

I don't care one way or the other if you have 27 children (ok, I might tell you it's a Vajay-jay, not a clown car in that instance) but have you noticed that the people who are all over zero-population growth - they're not dead? I mean, if you were so adamant that humans are a burden on the environment, why wouldn't you just off yourself and be done with it? Talk about hypocritical. So, Mr. or Mrs. Port Charlotte... put your money where your mouth is.

Snarky enuff for ya! :)

Meaghan said...

Every time I see your heading I smile! Still my favorite.


mydogumentary said...

I haven't got any really snarky comments! Just some people saying they don't like dogs. I just don't understand why people leave negative comments--i mean this is YOUR blog you're allowed to say whatever you want!

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

@karin - those anonymous notes would drive me batty. GRRR.

@courtney - I want to delete them, but I feel like that would be saying that I only care about *MY* opinion and not theirs. See the contradiction? yes, it is my blog but I DO enjoy getting comments. I feel like if I delete or ignore snarky comments, I'm no better than the person who won't listen to my point of view because of their own. see what I mean?

@nice one - Yes, you can see I have taken off the anonymous comment option. However, I hope all the awesome commenters out there will leave an e-mail address in their profile so I can reply back to them!

@meadowlark - my thoughts exactly! I want to tell them, "It's so lucky that your parents didn't think the same way you do. Or else you wouldn't be here to annoy us!"

@meaghan - (((HUG)))

@mydogumentary - what's up with that? Who doesn't like dogs? And if they don't, why would anyone even comment about that? Dogs don't even HAVE opinions. They just want to love you and lick you and play with you. Okay, dogs aren't for everybody, but c'mon. You have to be really desperate to be annoyed by something if you're going to let a blog about dogs annoy you. SHeesh!

Thanks for all the comments!!!

La Pixie said...

Im pretty new, so no bad comments yet. however, I used to get mean comments on my myspace blog a lot. I always just left them there. it was my way of saying, "your mean comment means so little to me that I wont even take the 3 seconds to delete it"

Elaine A. said...

I've honestly not had any snarky comments. Spam yes, snarky no.

Maybe it's because my blog is pretty full of "happy, happy, joy, joy!" I don't know! HA!

Carrie said...

mean comments are just mean. I haven't actually gotten one on my blog, but I work in ministry and have gotten a couple of "anonymous" notes in my mailbox that are just mean spirited and make me cry. My pastor told me (and keeps telling me) that if someone isn't going to come out and say who they are, their opinion does not matter. That goes for both the positive and the negative.
It's hard to let it go though. When I get mean notes I get sad because I take it so personally. Just remember, those people have issues and don't know how to have real adult conversations!

anti-supermom said...

I just roll right over the snarky ones, really it affect me for about a minute then I remember that my blog is public and there are idiots around every corner.

Emily said...

I wrote a post about a year ago about this same thing. It makes me so mad when people use anonymity to insult and just be nasty to people that they don't even know! Why would you ever do that??

Depending on the level of meanness, I'd probably end up deleting half of them and keeping half of them.

Emily said...

And to follow up my own comment...

I think that if they are mean just to be mean (like the one you mentioned in your post), that gets deleted. Someone truly just posting a differing opinion (i.e. a political post where the poster says they support McCain and the commenter talks about why Obama is the way to go) would stay. Deleting people just being jerks doesn't make you closed minded - its just getting rid of some of the bad energy being thrown out there in the blogosphere. :)

Sturgmom said...

Well, I'm new to blogging and I have ones of readers so no bad comments. But I laughed out loud at meadowlark's comments! So true!!!

TextileNazi said...

Texanmama ,
"Oh , of course I have gotten many a snarky response to a comment I made on someone elses blog , but I kinda expect that. I don't apologize for my opinions , and I think they are just that - MY opinions."
I think we get back what we give out in life. You may not like to hear it, but apparently you have just answered your own question in the first sentance of your post. Why is it wrong for someone to comment on one of your posts , when you feel like you need to comment on theirs without apology? its sounds a tad unrealistic and judgemental of you to basically say that you have the right to do as you please without regret or reprocussion yet it is basically rude for someone else to do the same.
But , this is just MY opinion of what you are doing. And I do apologize to you if you can't see that it is just the same thing as you do to others. I may not agree with what you do or say , but it does not in any way or fashion mean that I am trying to be rude to you by saying this. I hope that you can understand my feeling compelled to comment on this post. And I would like to think that you are open to diversity in life via friends and conversation. I love my friends and family but absolutely do not agree with them on everything they say or do in life , but I would not delete them out of my life for them speaking their mind if they felt the need to do so.
Please know that this is not intended at all to be disrespectful towards you in anyway , just giving my observation on the situation.
Snarkily :),

binks said...

I keep all comments. Most people just skim right over them or it creates a forum for discussion. In a couple of days they are forgotten by me and the rest of the bloggy world.

Lindsey said...

Hi, I am new here (from McMommy). I cannot believe how people feel the need to tear other people down with their snark. Wouldn't life be terribly boring if we were all alike?

Hope the jerk posts their email, but don't hold your breath.

Aubrey said...

I have only left one snarky comment in my blogging history. It wasn't because the lady had totally different political views than me BUT rather, she was ignorant and misinformed. Anywhoo, I just told her it was my first time at her blog and I wouldn't be back. She came over to my blog and commented about everyone being titled to their own opinion (I agree...). I left her comment up. She deleted mine. LOL

Ronnica said...

I really haven't gotten snarky comments. I chalk it up to having great readers. =) The closest was a dude questioning my support of the fair tax with a bunch of junk.

Anyway, I'm glad that God saw fit to bless you with a 5th child. Children are a blessing and a gift from God. No matter how hard you try YOU cannot create a child. So the "fault" (I don't see there is any fault!) is not on you.