Monday, November 3, 2008

Who Loves the King?

How many of you call your husband or boyfriend an idiot? Or stupid? Or remind him of his failures?

Um, I don't. I hope you don't either. It's not really in the recipe for a successful loving relationship. However, you wouldn't think that was the case if you watched shows like "According to Jim" or "Still Standing" or "The King Of Queens". While those shows are pretty amusing, it seems like the husband is always portrayed as a less-than-intelligent guy who is always trying to pull a scheme on his smart and beautiful wife. The scheme never works and the husband takes a verbal beating, being called "stupid", "moron", "idiot", and usually, "fat". Of course, in the end, they couple makes up but the husband looks like the dunder-head and the wife looks like the "I told you so".

Now, let's see a show of hands... Who loves "King of the Hill"?

Okay, okay, you can all put your hands down now. I admit, I did not even pay any attention to this show at first when it came out, because it is animated by the same guy (Mike Judge) who made Beavis & Butt-head. 'Nuff said about that. But at my husband's urging, I began to watch. I loved how Hank Hill was straight laced but not a big idiot, like the husbands on "According to Jim" and others like it. I guess it helps that the characters are animated, but they are more like a slice of real life, in my opinion. I would HOPE that it is more like real America to find a man who wants his son to grow up to be like himself and teach him the ways of the world from a man's point of view. I THINK it is more the norm to find a mom who works for her family as best she can, although sometimes misjudges her own strengths and weaknesses. Maybe, because "King of the Hill" is a cartoon, it can take license with poking fun at mainstream Americans without actually offending. After all, these aren't REAL people! Or are they?

Last night, I was so delighted (insert girly giggle here) to see Hank Hill at his place of work, Strickland Propane, being told by his co-worker to BLOG on MySpace. You see, Hank's co-worker Donna was big into Social Networking and she convinced the boss, Mr. Strickland, that putting the company online was the magic bullet the company needed to increase sales and grow the business. All workers were required to blog, upload photos, and talk about their REAL UNCENSORED FEELINGS. In the end, it didn't work out - you'd have to see the full episode for the full effect of why - and Hank tells his co-worker that at their office, all the co-workers are like family. And, it's just unnatural for family members to know each other's inner thoughts. Yes, of course, it is a bit tongue-in-cheek because Hank doesn't like anything that reeks of "real feelings". But I thought about it... how much do I want my readers to know about my inner thoughts?

What if I bit my toenails? Do I share it with you?

What if I pop my zits? Is that information you really need to know?

Yet, every day millions of people call it "theraputic" to do what I call the VERBAL VOMIT. We just blab out our thoughts, feelings, emotions, no matter how erratic or irrational they are. I guess the question is, what is erratic? What is irrational? And who decides that?

There is a very good reason I have chosen to keep my blog as private as possible. I want to be able to do the VERBAL VOMIT within reason. I want to share my feelings but I also want to keep some dignity for myself. I like to get honest opinions when I am waffling on a decision. I like to get reassurance when I'm beating myself up about something I've done when maybe I'm being too hard on myself. However, I'm not too fond of the criticisms I get when I don't even see it coming. But I guess, putting it all out there requires us to be ready for that criticism.

So far, I have not yet deleted any comments on my blog. Okay, well, I actually did delete 3, but that was by mistake and I contacted all those people and invited them to repost. But any snarky comments have been left in tact. I just feel really strongly that it's kinda like censorship if I delete their comments. Kinda like, "I only want people to see the good side of me". I am aware that other people disagree with me and I feel like if I leave their comments up, I am respecting their right to disagree. No matter how much I hate the comment. No matter how much it may hurt. I realize that it's my blog, and I can keep or delete any comment I want. And, I guess, this is how I want my blog to be. (Maybe I'm a masochist? Not in the naughty way!)

For example yesterday, something really really super awful happened to me at Wal-Mart and I considered whether or not I wanted to share it on my blog. I won't go into details, but it involved me walking away from one of the children who was left behind in the toy department. Just got preoccupied and forgot. About 5 minutes later, I realized one was missing and raced to the toy department to find the child with 2 WM workers. They were on the phone with someone (who? Cops? DFS? Security?) and I was given the "you're-a-shit-mother" look - guess I deserved it. I put my tail between my legs as I slunk away with the child. I am SO freaked out by this. I am SO upset. I know it was HORRIBLE. I know I completely suck. Trust me, nothing you could say would be worse than what I've said to myself. But I debated putting this up because I feel like, ya know, today I'm just not up for being called a bad mom, or irresponsible, or a dolt. I already feel those things - I don't need a zillion other moms, those who've never lost track of their own children - reminding me what a crappy job I did yesterday. Some days I do okay. Yesterday - FAIL.

So, I guess I just went ahead and told you more than I needed to. See, blogging + anonymity = VERBAL VOMIT.

So, how much do you reveal in your blog?


TextileNazi said...

Listen , no one should give you any shit about something like this. Unless of course you left them there intentionally and had no plans to go back and get them. You are pregnant and you have 4 other kids. You can't be expected to be on top of everything all the time, especially when you're outside your home and you have an agenda. I have one child , 8 months old , and I'm 33. I have been and still do breastfeed her , and let me tell you I am a complete idiot most of the time because of what it does to your brain. I never had to write things down before I became pregnant. Now I don't remember what I was going upstairs for until I pee my pants. Seriously. I cannot imagine life with more than one child , as one is all I desire to have and handle right now. And seeing as you have #5 on the way I don't see how you remember to put pants and shoes on yourself , after you've gotten 4 others ready to go out the door. I would't judge you for your decision to have more children as long as you could care for them and have enough love for all of them. And , frankly , I'm surprised that you have control over a small zoo when they are out in public , usually you see a parent chasing one child down at some point. Don't take it to heart too much , it happens . Hopefully the child wasn't hurt as much as your pride was.

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

I've always like King of The Hill--about Dallas 'burbs ;) My fave is "Death Becomes Cotton" .

I won't even go on about how many shows portray dad as a moron. Pretty sad :(

As far as what I say and what I won't....I stay away from stuff that could explain where I live and politics ;)

Dorsey said...

I think I share just enough to be dangerous. hehehe I don't share EVERYTHING though, some things are just a little too sensitive to share with the world. If asked, I will answer, but for the time being choose to keep some things a mystery.

Christine said...

You, know, I think I share really more stuff that I feel others can learn from, or are entertaining without being degrading....and I think that is key. For example, If I argue with my husband I will not blog about it, because that is personal. I think the main problem is that people in blogosphere do not share a standard set of rules in regards to what should be kept personal, and what is Okay to share.

Anonymous said...

I think it depends on the kind of tone you want your blog to have. You almost have to decide up front how much you're going to reveal and how far you're willing to go. I have a friend who has admitted to me that she has a general friends-and-family blog and another blog that is more anonymous where she vents. I hear what you're saying though. I go back and forth on my blog feeling like maybe I'm not revealing enough about myself to at least make my blog interesting! LOL