Wednesday, December 3, 2008

You're gonna miss this

I love the song of the same title by Trace Adkins. Have you heard it? If you like country music, you probably have. If you're not a fan, I'm sure you haven't heard it. Basically, it's about a girl/woman who, at different stages in her life, does not appreciate the stage she's in and is told by parents & friends, "You're gonna miss this."

Every time I hear that song, I cry. I keep thinking how it's so true. I know as a teenager I couldn't wait to grow up and get out of the house. As a young adult I loved college but couldn't wait to get to my career (teaching). Then I couldn't wait to get married. Then have kids. Then buy a house. Then have more kids. Then move to a place with more snow. Then move to a place with more sun.

Well, I've gotten all that I couldn't wait for. And know what? I wish I could go back. I really DO miss it. I miss not having snow to play in. It felt weird raking up leaves in the yard, on the day before Thanksgiving, in shorts and a t-shirt. When we lived in Wisconsin about 5 years ago, I missed the change of seasons. We used to joke, "There are 4 seasons in Wisconsin: winter, still winter, not winter, and almost winter," which was pretty much true. It would be 50 on May 1st, then 85 on June 1st. No real spring. Fall was the same way. Now, it's that way here in Texas but in reverse: summer, still summer, not summer, and almost summer.

And, kids? I miss when my biggest worry was whether or not they got the right happy meal toy or whether they took a long enough nap. Now, I worry that they will hear various 4-letter words at school, that their teeth will not grow in straight, that they will get kidnapped, or that I will unknowingly say the wrong thing and ruin my relationship with them forever.

I keep wanting them to grow up, and need me less. Do for themselves. Answer their own questions. Start keeping things to themselves rather than tattling every other minute. Find their own shoes under the couch. Suck up those ouchies instead of needing a kiss and an icepack for every scratch and bump. And yet, these are the things I know I am lucky to do. I am blessed to be needed. I am loved and wanted by the very ones who, one day, will probably reject me and my ideas and swear that they will NEVER be anything like me. I hope it won't hurt too much.

I keep thinking I need a bigger house, a neater house, a better-decorated house. We have certainly come a long way from our first rental house with uneven floors, a broken and caving-in front porch ("We just don't go over on that one side... for safety reasons"), decaying siding, and 25-year-old carpet. Now we live in a house that even my parents said was "beautiful". That's quite a compliment, coming from my parents, whose taste and standards are very particular. But, am I any happier now? Is life any easier now that we have more bedrooms, more bathrooms, a bigger garage? Not really.

So, I keep wondering, why do I want for something different that what I have? It's like in the Sheryl Crow song Soak Up the Sun - "it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got." So true.


April said...

You always say what I feel just right.

McMommy said...

I heard this song yesterday for the first time and BAWLED.MY.EYES.OUT!!!! I couldn't get over how much it applied to me. All of it was so true. As soon as I saw the title to your post, I clicked over b/c I was hoping you were referring to that song.

Fantastic post. You put it all into words so well.

Jess said...

Thank you for posting this!
This is exactly how I feel only you wrote it way better than I ever could!!

Cindy said...

You said what I thought the first time I heard that song. A few wks ago I told my daughter the same 21 she's in a rush for it all...when you're 45, you wish you were 21 again...thanks for a great post

Courtney said...

Oh my yes. I totally wish I could be a teenager again just to not havebills. Haha. I love that song. My mom tells my 17 year old sister all the time.

Great Song.

Krissi said...

What a great song! And what a great post, why does it always seem that we want what we can't have and don't fully appreciate it when we've got it??

Damama T said...

Howdy, Texas neighbor! I surfed over from Angie's (Keep Believing). I, too, love that song because it truly does speak the truth about life. Looking at the world from the far side of 50, having raised 2 boys and still agonizing over the raising of a 17 yo girl, I have so many things I miss that sometimes my heart physically aches. Hopefully, some day I (and all of us, for that matter) will finally be able to live in the here and now, relishing each and every moment without longing for the next thing. Cuz some day in the not too distant future we are even gonna miss the hard stuff that made today seem so difficult.

Thanks for such a great post. I can't think of any better way to put the words of a song into even more real words of the heart.


Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

So, I think the secret to happiness in life no matter what religion one practices is content. Why are we as Americans never content?


Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

And, you know what? I'm sitting here lamenting that it's not summer :) I hate cold. I want my 80s back. STAT!

I did the same thing. I couldn't wait. And, looking back, I sure wish I'd enjoyed the moment.

Jen said...

I so know what you are saying. This is a great song. Trace Adkins is so NOT a turd. Not one bit. ;)