Sunday, February 15, 2009


I hate the word "but".

I've noticed that it is often used as a filler, like when a person feels they should say more and they don't know what is supposed to come next.

"I'd love to go out with you again, but... (awkward pause)... well.... I'll call you." (uh, no he won't).

I have also noticed that "but" is used quite often when trying to get out of a situation that a person doesn't want to be in.

Mom: "Get your shoes on. It's time to go to the store." Kid: "BUT MOM! I just started this cartoon!"

HOWEVER the thing I hate most about the word "but" is when it robs a person of a feeling. Like, when a raw emotion is revealed, and the word "but" (and the phrase that follows) is offered to try to soften the blow.

"I'm not in love with you anymore. But I want us to still be friends."
"I will always love you. But I'm not in love with you."
"I know you're doing the best you can. But sometimes your best isn't good enough."
"This is going to be really hard to accept. But I need you to hear it anyway."

Sometimes I feel like being mad, or crying, or screaming at the top of my lungs. Sometimes I want to shred a pillow. Or kick a bag of flour. Or drive my stupid minivan faster than 65mph. And I keep hearing all these "buts" that keep telling me, "Keep your emotions under control! Don't overract! Be calm, cool, and collected!"

What's so wrong about being uncool, uncalm, and uncollected? I don't go around shredding pillows everyday, so why can't I just BE mad if I want to be? What's so wrong with that?

I just don't get it: where does it say that someone can vomit their feelings and/or thoughts on me, then negate their responsibility by saying "but...."

Nuh-uh. Watch out bags of flour... I've got my boots on and I'm gonna Kick. Yer. BUT.


Jess said...

But that was good!!

Who's gonna clean up the flour??

stephanie (bad mom) said...

Well said; you can keep your boots on the floor with me. :D

I've vowed to not let it follow the word "sorry" in particular.

Carrie Thompson said...

I was gonna say that about the

"sorry, but" that gets me the MOST! If completely negates the sorry!!!!!


where's my boots!

Natalie said...

agh. my 5 yo is constantly saying "but, but, but" when she knows she is about to be in trouble. i am sick of hearing it!

Chris said...

I love when people flat out say "Don't get mad, but..." What gives them that right? I'm so with you on this!!!

sassy stephanie said...

How true.

Wear some really sturdy boots!! Give that flour hell!

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

Another one... 'I'm just sayin'..."

Like, "Your wife is a complete bitch, I'm just sayin'..."

How does that get people off the hook?


Christine said...

be mad all you doesn't bother me a bit way down here in south fact I can't even hear you, so kick, yell, scream, and pull your hair out....."but" make sure to vent to us about it later, we are the best unpaid therapy known to mankind

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

You're allowed to be upset. AND, I love the new digs.

Jen said...

you go on and be mad if you need to, its alright. And I agree, but is a ugly word but not a ugly as TURD!!!!!!

E said...

You know what I say to those people..."You know...everything before but is a lie"

That sort of stops them and then they usually go right back at it, because they are oblivious and a little bit mean. People who lean hard on the word but have no imagination, and that always makes a person a little bit mean.

So then I interrupt them and tell them that they have something in their teeth.

That one usually does the trick!

Anna See said...

I hear you. It's like saying, "I'm sorry you feel that way," when you should just say, "I'm sorry." PERIOD.

Eudea-Mamia said...

How do you feel about "however?" Pretty much "but" dressed up.

I love E's comment about everything that comes before but is a lie. Very good point.

Kick away!!

(minivans can go faster that 65 mph? ;-)