Tuesday, February 3, 2009

cannot... breathe... To-Do list... choking me....

Every once in a while, I fall into that pit of despair. It may be a pit familiar to you: the one where for every chore you finish around the house, two more pop up.

I am drowning in chores. And things to do. And people to call. And people to take care of.

Plan Girl Scout meeting. Attend Leader Meeting. Sell Girl Scout cookies (or else get stuck with 150 boxes of which I am 100% financially responsible. THAT'S for another post.) unload dishwasher. Fold 3 loads of laundry. Change sheets on our bed. Check online bank accounts to make sure I'm not over drawn. Pay bills. balance checkbook. Spend quality time with husband. Attack pile of "I need to read this" papers on desk. Tutor. Read blogs. Pack lunches. Load dishwasher. Wash the "non-dishwasher" dishes. Get change at the bank to pay allowances. Buy cups for 3 classes at school. Mop kitchen floor. Call Girl Scout parents. Unpack from trip. Clean bathrooms.

People: Peppermint Patty is about 5 hours behind on all the homework that was sent with us on vacation. I'm not even going to call it a vacation anymore. Let's call it a LEARNING EXPERIENCE. I will NEVER pull my kids out of school for that long again. Trying to make up all the homework has been hard for PP and HELL for me. I have to stand over her and explain everything to her. And keep her on task. And answer her questions. The teacher sent home every. single. bit. of. work. that. was. done. in. class. So, understandably, It's like I have 7 hours of work for every day of school we missed. We missed 8 and a half days. You do the math - I'm too brain dead.
YIPPEE it's the 100th day of school. What does this mean? Another reason to celebrate and avoid school work. Another reason for a classroom party. Another reason to have parents supply food, plates, napkins, etc. 100 days of school is fun, but I think it's kinda below-the-learning-curve for anyone above Kindergarten. Both Charlie Brown and Linus have to bring in 100 items. For Charlie Brown, they must be "CREATIVELY DISPLAYED" - yes, the teacher put that all in caps. Whatever. His creative display of his Yu-Gi-Oh cards is putting them in a binder. Eh.
And poor baby Sally. I think she's getting neglected. I let her play with toys and walk around the house but really our playtime together and our snuggle time is taking a serious hit. I can't reel myself down enough to just relax for 5 minutes. I am always looking around at the stuff that needs to be done. I can't even finish a thought.

That's why I'm blogging. I think doing this makes me forget about all the other stuff. If I stare at the computer screen, I don't have to look at a sink full of dishes. And I don't have to think about all the responsibilities I have. They just keep coming at me and I don't ever get a break. Even lately, finishing tasks doesn't give me any satisfaction. Crossing items off the TO DO list is completely unfulfilling.

I have to think about getting our tax information together.
I have to organize a Girl Scout meeting.
I have to call stores to set up sales for Peppermint Patty to sell her Girl Scout cookies so we're not out $500.
I have to keep track of our medical receipts for our cafeteria plan reimbursement.
I have to take a shower.
I have to cook dinner.
I have to figure out why our electricity bill was nearly $550 this month, WAY more than any bill in the summer (which is weird, considering how hot it gets in the summer in TX).

The frustrating part is this: if I felt like I were taking on too much or just unable to say "no" to people, then I'd recognize the problem and fix it. I'd start saying "no" and back away from so many commitments. But I really don't have that many commitments. I tutor once a week for one hour. I am a Girl Scout Leader, and our meetings are once every other week for an hour. That's it really. All the other crap that I'm dealing with is just my NORMAL EVERYDAY crap. So, it's not like I can even give the jobs to someone else. They're mine to deal with. Forever.

I literally feel like I have a huge mound of dirt on top of me, unable to escape and unable to move and unable to ask for help. Texan Papa does help quite a bit when he can, but understandably he works full time so his hours at home are few. When he is home, he's eating dinner and sleeping, and playing with kids.

I think maybe I"m just overwhelmed because we just came back from "learning experience". I can't catch up. I need a wife to do my laundry and cooking.


Krissi said...

Slow down, take a deep breath and say out loud "I can only do what I can do in one day"! Take it one day at a time (this is easier said than done I know) try not to stress yourself out!

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

Slow down, relax a bit. it did not get this ad in one day, it can't get fixed in one day. We have all been there. This is going to sound dorky but when it gets this bad, I set the timer for an hour, everyone (inc. spouse!) gets a room and we race to see who can clean their room the best. I judge and the winner gets to pick dinner.
Above all, get back into bible study time (time with God). When I feel the way you are right now, I take it as a cue to bring the focus back to the cross. You have no idea how much this can help!
Big hugs--if you still have cookies left by the blogger dinner (you ARE going, right?!) I'll buy a box or two ;)

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

I agree with Lisa - take a bit at a time. Break your to do list down and work in chunks.

We had 100 days here too yesterday - only Gert (Kindy) had to bring something. Essie (4th) said they didn't even talk about it. Gert had to bring in a large bag of M&M's. I would have wanted to lump a teacher over the head who wanted something displayed creatively.

Take a deep breath!!!

Eudea-Mamia said...

Oh I feel you. I think it's this time of year.

And blogging.

It helps, but it doesn't "help." Too bad I can't get my computer to sweep the floors.

Hello Roomba?

(your electricity bill? do you guys have a pool? ours has been running non-stop because of the freezing temps at night. not like I want the pipes to freeze, but darn it!)

Jess said...

You will get it done!! I felt the same way yesterday and I didn't just get back from a learning experience!!

I'm sorry to keep bringing this up. It probably freaks you out everytime I say this: but A LOT of the things you post, especially this ONE!! is almost identical to what's going on in my life!
Our electric bill was also $550 this month!!
Can I get a WTF??
Let me know what you figure out on that one... I'm stumped as well!!
I have a shovel if you want to borrow it!! :)

Anna See said...

It's so easy to get overwhelmed, isn't it??

The Jones' said...

You sound like me and I simply have set things aside and will do them when I can do them... even if it take days! I'm tired of putting so much pressure on myself, which really only makes me grouchy and pisses off those around me for pushing them to do what they too have to do!

You can do it all, just take your time and enjoy the days instead of rushing through them!

mommeeof9 said...

Do what you can and assign the must be done to the other family members. Anything else non essential can wait. No one ever died because the pots and pans weren't done after every meal. I have teenagers who do a lot of the housework and we still can't get it all done.

Jen said...

this really made me sad. I am so sorry that you are so overwhelmed. I really wish there was something that I could do to help. But I really can't afford a plane ticket to Texas. :(

Jennifer said...

I am totally feeling your pain. My first thought(rather sarcastically, sorry) was to take all of that and add a full time job, but realistically I have two less kids, no homework and no girl scouts. OMG, I think I'm having a panic attack, what am I going to do when these kids are in school. I have to go cry in the dark now. I hope you feel better soon.

Carrie in Texas said...

Okay, I commented earlier and it got lost in cyber space!

What I said is...I am so sorry you are overwhelmed! I know how it feels and I know about the not breathing thing!

Is there any school work that the kids can get away with not doing???

Take things one step at a time! maybe fly lady it for a while...just 15 minutes of work at a time!

maybe take a real vacation! lol

maybe go to the laundry mat for a all in one clothes cleaning session...I love when I get ALL caught up bedding and all!

I lisa's game for who gets done first...I think I plan to totally use that!

And most of all................BREATH!

Bridgett said...

Oy. Girl scouts is currently bugging me, too...I had a "wife" in town last week (mother in law, new baby, ya know) and it was SO nice. Now she is gone and I'm suddenly wondering how it's all going to get done...

Brian Tristam Williams said...

Wow, such a long blog, no wonder you never find time to do the other stuff!


Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Howdy All.
Thanks for all the kind words. I think, when I get overwhelmed, I don't have any perspective. The truth? The sun sets and the sun comes up, and no one dies from the mess in the house. And it's not like the house is FILTHY or UNSAFE. Just, we might have to get clean underwear from the clean laundry basket cuz mom's too durned busy to get it folded and into the drawer.

SO, everyone around here survivied my little Monday panic attack.

And, Brian, Yes! You're right, I absolutely have perfected the art of procrastination. 100 things to do? Can't finish them. But write a long blog post? no problem...