Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Interview With a Non-Vampire

Yes, I am the Non-Vampire.

So, Chris over at Coke on my Keyboard answered some interview questions, and invited someone else to be interviewed by her.

Yes, I am that sucker. Because, no, I can't handle people not paying attention to me.

I just really loved Horshack and Screech. They are kindred spirits.


On with the interview questions!

1. What is your greatest achievement?
Not poking myself in the eye repeatedly when attempting to potty train my children. It is the one task of parenting that I hate. the. most.

2. If you could live anywhere in the world (and leaving behind family wasn't an issue) where would you live and why?
Ireland. It is so beautiful, and they speak English. I can barely work with one language, let alone master another. As it is, when I spent my semester abroad there, I could tell when the natives were ridiculing me in Gaelic.

3. What prompted you to start a blog?
A very desperate need to make people pay attention to me. No, seriously, I was in a new town with no friends and no one to talk to and I had just SO much to say. So, I figured, why not tell the internet. There must be SOMEONE out there who cares... And look! You really DO care! At least I hope so anyway.

4. Without thinking in terms of money, what would your dream job be?
Ice cream taster. Mattress tester. Scuba equipment tester. Personal shopper.

5. Let's say that on your 80th birthday, all of your family, friends AND "enemies" gather together. Each person is given the opportunity to stand up and talk about you. What sort of things would they say?
That girl has great legs but a pancake booty.

6. What quality do you find most important in a friend?
Sarcasm without pessimism

7. What do you think your children will be when they grow up?
Peppermint Patty - teacher or someone who works with small children
Charlie Brown - non-litigating attorney, engineer, scientist
Linus - Skydiving instructor, Bungee cord tester, Rock climber, get a job in the circus being shot out of a canon
Baby Sally - organizational guru

8. After the children are all grown and moved out, what do you think a normal week will be like?
Now, "normal" is a subjective term. I will probably travel a lot to visit my kids and (hopefully) grandkids. I will leave exactly ONE DAY before I overstay my welcome and move onto the next kids' house. Texan Papa will be gone fishing all the time so he won't miss me.

9. Cats or dogs???
I like both and both have their benefits. If it were just me I'd say cats, but Texan Papa is really allergic so I guess I'd go with dogs. BUT no way in hell would a dog ever darken our doorstep if it had hair in the front of its mouth (like with a Scottie) that gets all nasty when drinking from its waterbowl or eating its food. That shit is just disgusting.

10. If you could only choose to own one of these things, what would you choose & why? Car, computer, television, pen & paper or 5 books of your choosing.
I'd choose the books. No matter how many times I read a book, I always find new things about it I like. I wish I read more and were on the computer less, so being forced to choose would be a good thing for me. And, one book for sure I'd choose is the bible because I've always wanted to read it in entirety but never have done it.
THERE! I did it! I got through all the questions and I didn't make a total ass of myself. Well, maybe you should be the judge of that.
Now, if you'd like to be interviewed by me just tell me so in the comments and I'll shoot you some questions! But I can't promise they will be fair questions. I play dirty like that.


Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Honest assessment of children's strengths is so refreshing. Shot out of a cannon. Ha!

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

I have passed up a lot of these but figured "what the heck." You can interview me. I figure a fellow Texan will play nice. :)

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Lol. Heck, go ahead and interview me, I want to know how you play dirty. Then again, I may not answer. Lol

Natalie said...

great interview. too funny!

you can interview me if you want...

Jennifer said...

Me. I'm not afraid of yo questions.

Chris said...

LOL! I loved those answers. And we do care. We really do. =D

The answers about the kids' careers totally cracked me up. Great job & thanks for giving me the chance to interview you.

Dorsey said...

I would jump at the opportunity to be interviewed by you!!! Can you see that? I'm jumping!!! hehe

Anna See said...

Very fun post. I loved your predictions about your kids' future occupations!

Jen said...

i liked this very much!

Every Day Goddess said...

Very cute, I like this, I agree with you on Ireland. Thats where I want to live too!!

anymommy said...

I want to be a mattress tester...if you get that gig, call me.