Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Misery Loves Company

Why can't I just be happy for people?

When someone blogs about how great their homeschool schedule is going, or how their kids are so bright and just breezing right through the curriculum, why can't I just smile and think, "Good for them!"?

When someone writes that they managed to potty train their toddler at the tender age of 21 months, even though it was really hard, and (knock wood) there haven't been any accidents in 2 weeks, why do I secretly seethe?

When someone gushes about their lovely husband, how wonderful he is and how attentive he is and how they are just a perfect match for one another, why do I try to click away before getting halfway through the post?

I am guessing that misery just loves company.

It's not that my kids aren't bright, nor that I don't work hard, nor that I have a lousy marriage. None could be further from the truth. But for some reason I just can't stand to listen to people gush about how wonderful things are going when I have crap falling in around me.

And do you know what is really the worst? That really, crap isn't exactly falling in around me. It just feels that way. I have 4 children, none of which have any disabilities. THAT is a blessing in and of itself. My husband does not anticipate my every need. Rather, he is himself and I am myself and my marriage is a daily lesson in how to determine what is really important and what is just me being stubborn. I learn from him daily and THAT has been a blessing to me, more so than having a person who gives me everything I ask for and never makes me grow as a person. My husband is in a VERY secure job with no threat of being laid off. We have no debt. Both of our families are really normal and not wacko at all.

Still, if I have to hear about one more person who has the perfect matching Easter outfits for them and their children, all of whom sit quietly through a long church service, I might have to shoot my monitor.

I just feel a closer kinship with people who are willing to show their imperfections to the world. I know that the "Ms. PerfectBlogger" people have imperfections too, but it is just so depressing to read a post about new furniture from Ethan Allan or a recent trip to the Bahamas or their kids' perfect check-ups at the dentist. I want to hear that they are human too. That I'm not the only one who has a hard time saying "no" to her kids for the 127th time that day. That there are other people out there who didn't get the $1 off coupon to combine with the sale for 2/$1.49 to get two boxes of pasta for 49 cents. We can't all be good at everything and I know I'm no good at clipping coupons.

And, it certainly is not that I am happy when misfortune befalls these "Ms. PerfectBlogger" types. I have never once thought anything negative for them. But, you see, when reading about other people's troubles I think it helps me to appreciate my own life and maybe say to myself, "Gee, I'm happy to be where I am. It could be a lot worse." Reading the blogs of the "Ms. PerfectBlogger" set, all I start to think is, "Man, where I am sucks. It could be so much better." Yeah, I never walk away from reading those posts and feel empowered to live better. Usually I just walk right over to the freezer for some ice cream.

So, misery? Meet the peanut gallery. Bring it on.

14 comments:

Debbi said...

hm. Now I'm hoping that my blog isn't all Ms. PerfectBlogger cuz, we honestly DID have little matching Easter outfits! YIKES! lol

but, upon reading every OTHER entry, you'll probably notice I'm not all daisies and roses ALL the time either! ;)

Heather said...

I hear you!

And I suck at clipping coupons, myself. Rather, I'm *great* at clipping the coupons, it's just the actual bringing them to the store and using them I suck at.... along with ending my sentences with a preposition... :)

I give so much credit and respect to ANYONE who homeschools their kids. I know that, as Not Ms. Perfect Blogger, I could never, ever do that on a daily basis without going insane. I'm so far from perfect that, as much as I love spending time with my daughter, I'm always a wee bit glad when school breaks end and she's back in school for 7 hours a day...

((hugs))

jen said...

I hear ya sista! preach it. :-)

Cookie Crums said...

I have to say that this absolutely made me crack up!!! I am in NO way laughing at you..... just that my husband pissed me the hell off this morning and i was going to rant away on my blog......

the only problem is my in-laws read it so I try to keep it kind of low key. but boy oh boy did I want to go off. But you know what....i'm going to anyway...come read!! [grin]

J said...

You know, I had a great whining rant going yesterday in the Edit Post section of my blog and then I realized that my family all reads my blog and they would be upset that something was wrong with me if I posted it, so I didn't...Just like Cookie Crums!

Kikit said...

Hi there. I'm probably one of those bloggers who don't often write about imperfection. I thought it would be better to dwell on blessings than misery.

But you're right. We are human beings and we must show our imperfect side as well. :)

Wendy said...

You know what's funny? When I post funny, I get comments & LOLs and etc. When I post "real", I get silence.

Hmm.

Mebbe my real is too real, too depressing. Or something.

Every Day Goddess said...

You are so funny! I love how you say it how it is. I always wonder how anyone can home school that will never be me :)

Jennifer said...

You are SOOOOO pregnant.

LOL

Or, at least you sound like me when I was pregant. I'm so glad to see that you are not one of those happy, perky pregnanat women. You totally forgot about them. I HATE them.

jori-o said...

I've found that I have been increasingly editing my posts and just sharing the good stuff because of who I know is reading (friends and family). Which is why I'm thisclose to just starting all over, but COMPLETELY annonymously, so I can be real.

But I know what you mean. It is nice to meet REAL people and not just the perfect advertisement.

McVal said...

The perfect perfect blogs annoy me too. I too tho did have matching outfits for my girls this Easter, but they were bunny suits and one was really ticked I made her wear it on her paper route... So not sure if that counts...
In my profile I put that I have 3 great kids and I do! Except when they have a 'tude... I work from home so I couldn't spend the time necessary for "real" homeschooling. We had him do online courses to finish out his graduation credits. But it got him out of the crowd he was in and his attitude toward life totally turned around. Such a blessing! But I'm bragging. I'll knock it off. If I wrote about what my life was like the last 2 years, you would all be shocked. If I blogged about the hell my son put us thru during this time, I would get constant phone calls from my mom, who reads my blog... So I tend to keep things a little lighter.
I like your blog because you seem real, down to earth and have a sense of humor that only comes experiencing real life.

Anna See said...

i hear you! you and i need to hang out more often. :)

Sturgmom said...

You can always stop reading my blog if you don't like it...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

I think we were separated at birth. I'm naturally cynical too, and really don't have any reason to be. Thanks for your transparency.

texasholly said...

Hey. So I was out to lunch with my kids and my husband this noon. FABULOUS! Until my 3 y/o lost all sense of public decorum and caused me to lift him out of the booth SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER while I then proceeded through the ENTIRE restaurant until I could get outside where it was RAINING. HOLY HELL CHILD! He doesn't even seem to mind that he ruined what was about to be a Norman Rockwell painting moment...but then I don't think I would know what to do in a Norman Rockwell painting. It looks all sweet and a tad bit boring.

And FYI anyone who blogs about the "perfect home school schedule" is either certifiably insane or lying through their teeth.