Monday, June 15, 2009

How to Have a Relaxing Vacation

1. Do NOT bring your children.

2. Enjoy the good libations.

3. Eat out - don't cook for yourself.

4. Leave all the bills at home or set-up auto pay or something brilliant like that.

5. Do not bring your computer with you.

6. Wear sunscreen.

7. Only pack shoes you've worn at least a few times before.

8. Stay somewhere that you aren't afraid to touch everything or leave something out of place.

9. Have some alternate activities planned besides "watch tv". Not that you have to do them, but at least you can have a back-up plan.

10. Don't watch any sexy movies unless you've brought your sexy mate along with you.

YES THIS WEEK HAS TURNED OUT TO BE THE OPPOSITE OF "VACATION" FOR ME. AFTER THIS "VACATION" I TRULY NEED A REAL VACATION.

I love my kids but I think I might strangle them if they quote one more line from Zack and Cody or Phinneas and Ferb or Hannah Montana or even Special Agent Oso. At least this trip has made me realize how thankful I am that we don't have cable TV.

I. Am. Exhausted.

Go to the pool! Find the goggles! Hold the baby! Pick up wet towels! Break up a fight over a water balloon! Clean up the water balloon shrapnel! Pile 4 kids in the car! Unpack the car! Trip over a pile of flip-flops! Unload the cooler and the towels and the raft and the life-jackets and the goggles and the baby and the trash! Hurry up and make a snack because everyone is STARVING! Serve the snack to ravenous animals! Clean up the snack! Sneak a bite from the leftover remains of one plate! Answer questions like, "What is the number for Disney Channel?" and "Will you fix the TV? It just has white snow!" and "Where's my clean underwear, Mom?" Calm a screaming child with a migraine... run a hot bath for a sick kid... fetch the baby who just fell down a flight of stairs... give ibuprofen to anyone/everyone who needs it... find the GameBoy machine... wipe a mark off the pristine walls... gather some mysterious parts together that look like they once were something assembled but now are the result of tiny hands of a future demolition captain... wash towels... wash sheets... try to vacuum... stub toe...

Yeah, those were only the things I did since 4pm today. I so need a wife.

8 comments:

Jennifer said...

Sounds like you are having a great time. ;)

Debbi said...

Hahaha, love the 'wife' comment. how true, how true.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

I enjoyed reading your blog tonight....

Had some time to do some blog hopping...

always enjoy finding new blogs!
Hope you will visit me. This month I am posting on our Disney trip.

Jen said...

Girl, I can't believe that you are doing this vacation thing by yourself. I hope that when you get home your hubby gives you a few days off.

Cookie Crums said...

I'm exhausted from reading all that!!! Wow! Hope you're having a little fun though... somewhere....maybe... with all the WORK. :) And a wife sounds like a fabulous idea.

Anna See said...

yikes! you are one busy gal. i am impressed that you tried this by yourself. i'm not that brave. we're calling it brave, not crazy, right? xo

Mommymel said...

I soooo feel your pain! A simple trip to the pool is exhausting... the sunscreening alone takes about a half hour of our time, and heaven forbid someone has to pee... then it's undress and dress again while keeping the other two from touching everything and contracting a no. of dangerous and disgusting illnesses. My family keeps wanting to take my 3 camping... YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?! Just goes to show I do the majority of schlepping and dealing with the kids, or they'd know how crazy that idea is.

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