Monday, July 13, 2009

The Fun Part of Being a Mom

Okay, okay. So, we're all going to fess up right now and admit that some days, no MANY days, it feels more like a job raising kids than it does a joy and a privilege.

Hello? Anyone out there? Am I the only one who thinks that?

If you have more than a couple of kids, you may not like what I'm about to say: the best cure for that feeling was to have another baby.


No, seriously, when I had Peppermint Patty, Charlie Brown, and Linus in a span of 37 months, then endured the next 4 years with 3 children all clumped together in age, I would dream of running away from home. For all of 2002 and 2003, we lived in an area with NO family and NO reliable babysitters (it's tough to find someone with the unique set of skills who can responsibly handle 3 very small children and also is willing to do so). The only relief was sending PP to preschool in the fall of 2003, for 2 hours twice a week. So THAT was nice, but I was still perennially pooped. Every day was a balance of trying to finish all the housework and trying to keep the children reasonably clean. This Jack (or Jane) of all trades was certainly the master of none.

But, as you may have heard and may agree with me, once they start going to school the years just fly by. Once Peppermint Patty went on to preschool, then day school, Charlie Brown was right behind her one year behind. And Linus was two years behind him. I started to get the urge for another cute chubby baby. And, for so many wrong reasons that I can't even count, I wanted a chance to redeem myself as a parent. Like, for all the times I screwed up while raising my older 3 kids, I wanted another chance.

When Baby Sally came along, I was a more mature mom with TONS more perspective. Dishes not done in the sink? They can wait. Kids in front of the T.V. all day? Well, we'll do better tomorrow. Milk-drained boob hanging out of bathrobe when mailman comes to the door? Ah, just another way to say, "Hi! Happy to know ya!"

I was finally able to understand what everyone had always been talking about when they said how much they loved being a mom. I started to cuddle and snuggle my baby all the time. When I heard her wake up from a nap, I was excited to see her instead of feeling like someone was blowing the whistle on my free time. When my little munchkin cried, I didn't freak out and ask myself, "Is she sick? Is she hurt? Is she hungry? Did I do something wrong? HOW CAN I FIGURE THIS MYSTERY-WRAPPED-IN-A-DIAPER OUT???" Basically, I just allowed the baby to be herself and stopped trying to figure out how to do everything right.

I guess the real secret, which was no secret at all, was that I quit trying to be perfect. Not that I ever expected to be perfect, but I always kinda hoped that I'd try real hard and perfection would just be the obvious side-effect.

And now, I am loving the fun so much that we're going for baby #5. And it's going to be another GIRL. I'm almost decided on a name, but what should her pseudonym be here? Lucy? I thought about that, but I'm not sure I want the personality of that Peanuts character associated with any of my kids... you know, she was kinda a bitch and all. Or Marci? Does anyone even remember her? (She was the one with glasses that always called Peppermint Patty "sir"). I could go with The Little Red Haired Girl (Charlie Brown's true love) but I'm pretty sure she won't have red hair.

Any thoughts?


Jennifer said...

Here is a link to all of the characters names:

I bet you can find one you like. I think we should call her Snoopy. Yeah, he was the dog... and a boy, but it is still cute.

And I'm not willing to go to number four to be all happy and cuddly and stuff. With three years difference between my two I have my moments, and I've never even considered perfection. I guess I go back and forth between the two extremes of loving the experience and hating the job. Maybe it would be eaiser if all the moments were cuddles and giggles and we could skip the whining and poopy diapers.

jori-o said...

Congrats on another baby girl!!

Living It, Loving It said...

I can understand what you mean about being more experienced. The age between the baby and the my older one is eight years. I thought I would be out of practice, but it came naturally. Congrats on your decision to have another baby!

Jen said...

I so understand what you are saying here b/c I feel myself wanting another baby for those same reasons. Doing all the things that I couldn't with having triplets. I would like to actually enjoy having a baby. But sadly, my time will never come.

★ MamaKat ★ said...

I so agree! I have 2 month old and I just can't get enough of him! He's my third baby and it's like I just can't get enough of him. I had to comment to tell you, I remember Marci! I think Marci would be easier to type out than Little Red Haired Girl over & over. Unless you're gonna go with: LRHG. :)

Genny said...

I really enjoyed reading your perspective. I only have two kiddos, 23 months apart, and when I look back on when they were little, it really was all a blur! lol

Anna See said...

Woohoo! Another girl. And they'll take care of you when you're old and wrinkly. Kind of wish I had another girl so I could guarantee this... ha!

I know what you meant by doing it again when you are more relaxed. I was wound soooo tightly w/ my kids. Wish I hadn't been.

The Redhead Riter said...

Stopping by from SITS to say Hiya!

Don't be so sure that she won't have red hair. My mom's hair was dark, dark brown. My dad's hair was black. Guess what color mine was...yep...RED! If you want to see how red, just look at my crazy 2nd grade pic which is my profile pic. You will laugh your head off.

Anyway, Lucy is a good name! Lucille Ball was fantastic and I totally related to her. Besides that, I was a klutz like her and I get in the most crazy situations! I wanted to name my daughter AURORA because it means "Sunshine in the morning", but my ex-husband hated it. I am now in the process of trying to brainwash my niece and daughter who are only 21 and 16 to name one of their daughters Aurora. It isn't going well.

Christine said...

My favorite was always Violet because she was such a bossy thing (just like me). In my eyes she was way better than Lucy at being the top snot!

As some one who cherishes my girl world and all it's drama, congrats on having another one!

anymommy said...

I just wanted to say that I get this post and it made me laugh and tear up a little.

Emily said...

Hi! Linked over here from Buried with Children. You are too funny! and I can totally relate to how you feel...even though it's my second and third that are really close together (although my first two are only 2.5 years apart) I felt like it's my third that I enjoyed the most...I really have stopped and smelled the roses with him!
Oh, and I think Lucy is a cute nickname...and I don't think the real Lucy was a b#*%^, she was just a strong independent woman who knew what she wanted and just wasn't quite old enough to handle all that maturity and responsibility yet!

Michelle said...


I have an 9,8, and 6 year old but only gave birth to the oldest. When I met my girls they were 5 and 3 and I missed the whole baby phase. I really want another baby. Husband thinks I am crazy but is with me. I know right now is not the right time so I am trying to be patient for a few years while we pay off some debt. He is so sure he wants a vasectomy as soon as our 4th is born. Our 4th will be so much younger than our other 3 I asked him what if I want another to which he promptly told me no way! Oh well, I will take what I can get.

Anonymous said...

lol you could always call her "the little redhaired girl- who doesn't have red hair :)

April said...

fantastic post, i loved this :-) and congrats on #5... i like marci!

sharalyns said...

I like Marcie or Violet or Freida (who thought Snoopy should chase rabbits and has naturally curly hair!). I like Lucy, but you're right about the connotation in conjunction with the other ones you have listed.

Others are Patty (not PP), Eudora, Ruby, Lila, Royanne, and Peggy Jean (Charlie Brown's girlfriend).

Kekibird said...

Congrats on baby girl!! And #5 WOW!! If my S.O. and I decided to have another baby, that'd be #2 for me, #3 for him and in total #4. And I'm crazy but I have thought of it and your reasoning make sense for me. To enjoy the next one, to feel like no matter how tough, I did do a good job with my #1.