Sunday, August 2, 2009

Mind Your Beeswax

I can't even tell you how much I hate the commentary on my children from complete strangers when we are out in public.

(as the baby is screaming) "Aww, looks like someone is unhappy" (while making a big fake frowny face). GEE NO SHIT SHERLOCK. GOT ANYTHING HELPFUL TO ADD???

"Wow, you've sure got your hands full." Yes. I do. Are you offering to help? No? Then go away.

Today, on my inaugural trip to Sam's Club - yes, I took the plunge - I (stupidly) agreed to let my kids each have a turn playing Spore on the display computers. This meant that Baby Sally would only be entertained by running up and down the aisle between the books and the DVD's. She wasn't running into anyone, and she wasn't making a mess, and she wasn't running out of eyesight. I stood at the end of the aisle and watched her run up and down, up and down, up and down - she never left my purview. Burning off some energy, so what do I care? Also, just at that moment, a friend called me on my cell phone, so I wasn't even driving or eating a hamburger or lighting a cigarette or anything.

So some sourpuss granny comes up and says, "IS SHE YOURS?" I tell her politely, "Yes, I'm watching her. I know what she's doing." and she says, "Well, you're not her dad."

At this point I wonder what her point is. I've got breasts, a pregnant belly, and medium-longish blond hair. No 5-o'clock shadow and not-very-hairy legs. Was there some gender confusion I wasn't aware of?

"No, her dad is at work. I'm their mom." To which SPG (Sour Puss Granny) tells me, "Well she's running around yelling for 'da-da... da-da... da-da'."

Now, first of all, it was none of this lady's business. If the Baby were doing something dangerous, or if she looked upset, or lost, or was destroying something, then I say YES, GET INVOLVED. DON'T CRITICIZE BUT LEND A HELPING HAND. However, the Baby was not in any of those situations. She was giggling and running. Period.

Second of all, this nit-wit obviously knows zilch about baby language. "da-da" could mean, "I just crapped my pants" or "I want that" or "chase me! chase me!" or (like in this case) she was yelling for her brother.

Third of all, when did people become so intolerant of children? This lady was wearing orthopedic shoes and shouldered a vinyl purse hugged closely to her chest, so obviously she was well into her retirement years. Did she have no grandchildren? Did she have no children of her own? OR has she forgotten that children are not inherently wicked? ESPECIALLY CUTIE PATOOTIE CHILDREN THAT LOOK LIKE THIS?
I am not so ignorant that I believe my children to be angels. But I also know when they are being naughty, disrespectful, or unsafe, none of which she was doing. All my baby was doing was having fun. All I was doing was watching her have fun and talking on my phone.

But the look this woman gave me said, "You are an irresponsible mother. You are more concerned about your cell phone than you are about your children bothering other shoppers. Your children are a menace."

And the look I gave her said, "Piss off. I need 2 gallons of pancake syrup and a case of Chef Boyaredee Ravioli and I'm not going to let your evil eye intimidate me."

Sometimes I really hate people. Maybe that's why I like blogging so much. Maybe that's why I can't bring myself to go to a big blogging convention. That would involve people possibly not liking me to my face, instead of just unsubscribing. Sheesh I hope I don't become agoraphobic.

13 comments:

Noah's Mommy said...

omg..that is sooo funny....and sooo true....this lady needed another hit of geratol...and go home to watch matlock....lordy.....

McVal said...

LOL! Yes, I'll take all the baby harnesses you have and 2 gallons of syrup please!
My MIL is like your geriatric friend. She'll read a situation entirely backwards and then tell it like she sees it... to anyone...
When I'm at Sam's, the kids usually take off and snarf up any samples going on, or play the electric pianos, or play on the video games while I shop. They're older now, I get to do that...

Jennifer said...

I can't believe you were letting your child burn off some energy instead of forcing her to sit in the cart (and scream). Sheesh, what kind of mother are you?

Ummm, maybe totally like me. Last night we were at Logan's and while David waited at the table I took the kids to the front to be loose. Bud kept running back and forth between the entrance and waiting area and Baby Girl was playing hide and go seek behind the door. Neither one of them was hurting anything and I was watching them (keeping them contained) the whole time. Luckily I only had the good natured grandmotherly types and they all thought it was cute. But if hey hadn't I wouldn't have had a problem telling them where to stick it.

lov said...

i have to admit that i am a commenter, but usually i talk to the kids, before the parents. i can't help but watch and observe kids, but i'm sure that comes from my child development background. i spent years in classes where we were assigned to watch, observe, and comment on children's behaviors....
but with that being said, i don't understand how people get frustrated with kids for behaving in ways that are natural to them, so i'm sure i would have given that crazy mean old granny the same piss off look!

Emily said...

omg this happens to me all the time! And whenever a SPG does that to me I want to know where all the sweet grandma's are....like mine who would probably be playing with the little girl and giving her mother a little break! Sheesh...
Oh, and that little girl is a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e.! She reminds me of my little girl...that light blonde hair, and those blue eyes are a familiar sight at our house!

dianthe said...

you're a better mom than me - because i would have actually said what you were thinking! good thing SPG wasn't at Kroger with me yesterday - my 18 month old wouldn't walk with me so i walked away from her in the store while she trailed a good 15 feet behind me - i knew she was behind me because i could hear her loud clompity-clomp shoes and as long as they were making a steady pattern, i knew she hadn't stopped to touch anything!

ItsKelly said...

Sometimes people suck. I don't get when people get so bent out of shape when they see kids in public. As long as they are not a danger to themselves or anyone else, it's fine... at least that what my therapits says about me.

ItsKelly said...

Sometimes people suck. I don't get when people get so bent out of shape when they see kids in public. As long as they are not a danger to themselves or anyone else, it's fine... at least that what my therapits says about me.

Anna See said...

yuck. sorry this happened. i had a lady WITH a kid yell at me at michael's because i was talking on my phone. my friend was having a huge crisis and i was calling another friend to tell her to pray right then, and this lady made rude statements to her baby about my talking on my cell in the store. ick. i didn't have any kids with me, but i felt treated like a kid.

The Nice One said...

Shopping with Boy Child has rarely been easy because of his issues. When I was a younger mom it would frequently bother me if someone looked at me the wrong way. One day a lady commented on his inability to sit still. I looked her dead in the eyes and said, "He has a neurological condition, called..." and went through the entire scientific thing. She felt about 2 inches big after that and I felt great.
I say, piss off nasty folks!

Christine said...

I almost always bite my tongue and try to say something tactful to grannies who can't mind their own business. Inside my head I am giving them a piece of my mind.

don't let your pseudo-agoraphobia prevent you from meeting me one day, LOL I would not be happy!

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

Things like this only happen in Sam's and Costco. Another good reason to stick to Wal-Mart!

J said...

That is so annoying! I have a mantra "People are stupid". I know that sounds mean, but there are just people out there for whom there is no excuse and I have to just remember that they have no idea what they are talking about/doing and dismiss them because they are clearly insane. It is the only way I can stay sane myself. It does not make them any less annoying, though.

I don't think BlogHer would be that bad, though, because honestly you just don't spend that much time in any one place, and almost everyone there blogs to vent anyway, so I think we'd be with a bunch of people who like venting about stupid things exactly like this. Or at least, I hope so.

Also, I say that if someone unsubscribes..."oh well, people are stupid".