Saturday, January 2, 2010

Barely Floating

How is it possible that it's only the SECOND day of the year and I'm already behind?

I had a bill for Kohl's due on December 31st. Of course, I missed the deadline. And all I can say about that is, thank goodness Texan Papa doesn't read my blog because I think he'd have a conniption fit knowing that my laziness/absent-mindedness/procrastination is costing us money in the form of late fees and finance charges. I hate it too... it's like flushing money down the toilet.

I have been preoccupied with getting ready for a big Girl-Scout shindig that I'm putting together. It is kinda like Cookie Boot Camp for all the girls who are new to selling Girl Scout cookies. They'll learn safety rules, how to change money, get to sample a taste of the cookies, and so on.

Last year I went head-to-head with the neighborhood cookie manager over unsold Girl Scout cookies for which my troop was going to owe a ton of money. In case you're wondering, gone are the days when the happy Girl Scout would go door to door collecting orders with the promise of delivering the cookies a few months later. Oh no. Now (at least here in DFW) the Girl Scout troops have to make up a magic number in their heads of how many cookies they think they'll sell. Then they order these cookies from the supplier and now they own 'em. Nope, you can't return any unsold cookies. You have to just suck it up, so to speak. And, the only way to recoup the money is to sell the zillions of boxes of cookies. And, what happens if you don't sell all the cookies you thought you would? Oh, don't even get me started on the amount of misinformation I received last year about "Oh it will be SO easy to sell those cookies!" and "You'll make SO much money!"

End result: My daughter's troop disbanded and we barely made enough profits to cover all the boxes of unsold cookies.

So anyway, I have organized this whole thing, which I'm calling the COOKIE RALLY. It's truly a double-edged sword: on the one hand, the entire responsibility rests on my shoulders, so the possibility of success or failure lies with me and my competency. **SCARY** On the other hand, I'm working by myself so I don't have to listen to the opinions of less-competent nit-wits. Oh, what I really meant to say was, I don't have to help other well-meaning people learn to accept my way as the best way to do everything. And by everything, I mean EVERYTHING - from whether to use round or rectangular tables to what color paper to use for photocopies. This project is allowing me to fly my freak flag for a little while. It's good to get it out of my system every once in a while.

After I get done securing the future of Girl Scout cookie sales in my little corner of the world, and paying bills, I need to attack my arch nemesis: the insurance company. I hate those bastards. I swear, they couldn't find their way out of a paper bag with a GPS. Yet, they are smart enough to screw me over and have an air-tight system of voice prompts on the damn customer service line that I have not been able to crack.

Hopefully January 3rd will prove to be a more productive day. It's Sunday so at least I know I won't get any bills in the mail.


Sugar said...

seriously.....stand up comedy....give it some thought! soooo funny!

The Old Geezer said...

My oldest son is the President of the largest nation in the world.


Jennifer said...

A couple of my friens, with older daughters, are trying to convince me to let Baby Girl do Girl Scouts when she starts school in the fall. Part of me is cool with that, but the other part of me is scared to death of the cookies. When I was her age I was in Campfire, which I'm not even sure they have anymore, and we sold candy. I remember my mother hugely pregnant with my little brother walking door to door trying to schlep candy to poor unsuspecting indviduals. Not fun.

Foursons said...

Good luck with the cookies. I don't understand why Girl Scouts gets such a small percentage back from their sales. Boy Scouts get 60% back (I think) from their popcorn.

Karen said...

I had no idea the scouts weren't allowed to sell and then order. What a crock. Poor you! I hope it goes well.

Anna See said...

Whoa! That's a lot on your cookie plate. Can't imagine doing this and I only have 2 kids. Don't be hard on yourself and Let that Freak Flag fly high!

My girl has "only" sold 72 boxes thus far. She is shooting for 150. Darn.

Bridgett said...

In STL we sell and then buy like you think it should happen. I was shocked to learn that wasn't true other places. Still, you can still manage to get screwed wherever you are.

But my favorite line is "opinions of less-competent nit-wits". That is so true when it comes to GSUSA.