Saturday, February 13, 2010

Tired of Being Fat/Too Lazy to Change

Okay, so I am tired of being fat.

I am tired of my stomach looking like two wrinkly pug jowls, hanging there over my underwear waistband and staring back at me in the full-lenth bathroom mirror.

TMI?

I realize, I'm not obese or anything. I'm actually only about 25 pounds heavier than I was when I graduated high school. I'm about 13 pounds heavier than when I got pregnant. And, Amy is closing in on 3 months old (that'll be on Feb 22).

I know I should give my body time to recover. I know I am still exclusively breastfeeding, so I need to eat more calories in order to make milk for the baby. I know I have 5 kids and not a whole chunk of extra time to hit the gym.

But still. I don't want to wear maternity clothes. So my other options are: A) squeeze myself into my pre-pregnancy clothes and look like a sausage in it's casing. I think that is EXTREMELY bad taste. I've always said... just buy the next size up. No one sees the tag but you. Plus I can hardly breathe in those tight jeans. OR B) I could go out and buy some more clothes that fit. But I feel like that would be essentially admitting defeat. Like, I give up. I resign myself to the fact that this is my body now. I don't think I'm quite ready to do that.

And, I know, exercise. Eat less. Eat healthier. Drink more water. Blah blah blah. I know what to do but I don't know if I'm ready. And, part of me wonders if my body actually will ever be "normal" again. Seriously, my stomach skin is so stretched out that even if I lost the weight, I seriously doubt I'd ever be able to have a six-pack.

Not that I expect to be a spokesperson for Bowflex or anything. But I don't want to be a spokesperson for bacon either.

I think I should really buckle down and bite the bullet (as opposed to more Reese's Peanut Butter Cups). Of course, there's always that other hand that lets me think, aah, I've got 5 kids. I'm allowed to have a "mom body".

Too bad it's MY mom's body.

8 comments:

Jennifer said...

Mmmmm... bacon.

Karen said...

I try to tell myself to at least be healthy. Whatever that means. LOL On another note, it makes me so mad to see spokeswomen who couldn't look fat if they tried.

Carolyn Jess-Cooke said...

I know exactly where you're coming from. After every child I tell myself that it'll take WAY too much effort to get back into shape - recently my physiotherapist pointed out that, had I done the most basic of stomach exercises on a regular basis, that jowl-look would have disappeared in a few months... NOW I'm motivated :) But who cares anyway? Dress well, sleep well, and enjoy motherhood

xx

stephanie (bad mom) said...

I am all about illusion-dressing/pay no attention to the tag behind the pants.

Certainly try eating well & drinking your water as much as possible, but I advise against stress & guilt & worrying. :D

You are gorgeous; enjoy life.

Anna See said...

love that last line!

i say buy some spanx and don't forget to put some makeup on. you'll feel like yourself again, eventually! i only have 2 kids and it took me a full year to feel like myself each time.

Sugar said...

I've got to say, Anna See's comment is scaring me.
I'm SO glad to see a post about jelly belly. Is it not the WORST feeling? Oh my word, I'm wondering how long it will take until I feel motivated to do a sit-up or two. 4 months later and still no motivation! I say buy what fits and continue to feed your body so you CAN breastfeed. Would you believe my milk NEVER came in? Seriously. I pumped for 2 1/2 months and would only get about an ounce out of each boob each time. If that's not TMI for you, I don't know what it is! (sorry) I'm just so happy that you CAN breastfeed. Get some bigger pants, get another Reese's and enjoy yourself! I'm sure you look GREAT!

J said...

I have been considering the spanx option myself. I am going to hypocritically say - go shopping and have fun buying new stuff! I say that and I haven't figured out how to make time for that myself either, and I only have 1 child!! Doh.

Emily said...

Yep! I struggle with this all the time. And I have no excuse as I only have 3 kids and my youngest is 16 months old! I just wish I hadn't taken my beautiful pre-baby body for granted!