Friday, March 26, 2010

Will I Die From This?

I must be so annoying. My one friend, who I talk to on the phone at least twice a week (which is a lot for me), constantly hears me ask her, "Well, I mean, is it really THAT bad? What's the end result?"

The end result. That's what I want to know. I like to look at the big picture, not the specifics. So when a new challenge comes up, I usually ask myself, "Will I die from this?" Or, even, "What's the worst that could realistically happen?"

I think that's a fair question: Will my family fall into financial ruin? Will I gain 100 pounds? Will I get thrown in jail? Will I ruin my relationship with my family or friends? Will I damage my faith in God?

I try to think about the long-term, and go step by step until I am satisfied with a reasonable end result. I know, life doesn't always go step-by-step like it should, but it helps me to not obsess over every decision I have to make as a parent and wife.

For example, we are considering buying a new van. I don't really know if it will crunch us financially, but I think we can swing it. But what if we can't? Then we sell the van and buy something cheaper. Or we sell the van and go down to one car. That would be a pain, but it wouldn't be impossible. We'd make it work.

Another example: My husband is looking for a job in IL so we can move back closer to family. (BTW if we move, can I still be Texan Mama? because Illinoisian Mama doesn't really roll off the tongue quite as well.) I have kinda gotten to like Texas, though. He wants to know my feelings. I think, What if we move? I will have to make new friends. The kids will have to make new friends. We'll have to sell our house. We'll have to move... AGAIN. (I hate packing and unpacking). But, we'll survive. We've done it before. It will be tough but we'll make it through. What if we stay here in Texas? We'll continue to have no family nearby, no one to depend on if we're in a crunch. We'll still only see our family once or twice a year. We'll continue to get molested by the electric company with their de-regulated rates. But, will we survive? yes. Will we make it through? yes.

I know, it sounds silly. But I think I can wrap my head around decisions a lot more easily if I know that the fate of the world won't be changed if I make a simple decision.

This post was from a writing prompt at MamaKat's Writing Workshop. Click over there to see more awesome posts!

Mama's Losin' It

2.) “I need all the help I can get and if repeating something healthy and inspiring to myself several times a day helps, then I’m going to do it!” -What affirmation makes you feel better? WELL THINK OF ONE.
(inspired by Shanna from Smiles, Miles, and Trials)


Bear and Bones Mama said...

Hi G - my inspiring mantra? "Everything will work out exactly as it should". I've been saying it for over 10 years and it still keeps me going. Except when I'm running, when none of that mantra crap works. For me. :-) I think that's a good view you have of life darling - it keeps you going and you know it's not the end of the world. If you sell the car you sell the car. Moving closer to family will help a lot. I don't live close to family (the gparents are in New Mexico, 8 hours away) and it is hard. I am lucky to have a great community here and we rely upon one another like family ("what do you have in your fridge for dinner? leftover chicken? good, I have some beans and rice and carrots. Dinner at 6" type of thing. anyway, i'm babbling. My 5 yo was up at 2am vomiting....and again 6 times after that. Which of course woke the 3 yo....we are all tired and watching way too many movies already and it's only 9:37am.

Sturgmom said...

NOOOO! We just met IRL! You can't go back!

But I totally get what you are saying. And 99% of the time, the decisions we make will not unleash Armageddon. Which is comforting, in a weird way, I suppose.

Jennifer said...

Yes the world will end if you move. Of course I'm just telling you that becasue I don't want you to move, but still... it will. Totally.

Ok, forget about me. Do this (after you finish reading of course), close your eyes, picture yourself a year from now, two years, five years, ten, the kids are gone, it is just you and Texan Papa, where are you? where do you want to be? Is it where you are now? If no, then you need to move on. Don't be afraid of change. Be afraid of being stagnent.

Frugal Vicki said...

It is amazing how your views can change once you realize that things are really good compared to what they CAN be and what will your decisions really affect. I hope you find what you want to do in your heart! Moving is a big decision!

Anna See said...

Very, very good points! This is definitely something for me to consider when I get myself wrapped around the axle for something small. I'm reading a parenting bk right now and the guy asks, "is it a molehill or a mountain?"

Gigi said...

Deep question about the moving - as it is a big one. Personally I'd say do it before the kids get much older because it will be harder on them then. BUT if you move then how am I supposed to meet you when I come home for a visit? Cause I gotta say I don't know anyone in Illinois to go visit to have an excuse to come meet you...I'm just sayin' that should factor in to you decision-making process...

Stef said...

Someone with the same motto as me! I am always asking my kids, "So what is worst thing that could happen?" In most cases, it seems to calm theirs and my nerves. "So if the dishes don't get done tonight, what's the worst thing that will happen?" "If I neglect my kids what is the worst thing that will happen." Thanks for the reminder.

eof777 said...

Happy Share fest Saturday! I followed you back from SitsGirls because I could tell from your title that you'd have a fun blog. Keep up the good work!

Wendy said...

We've moved seven times in 9 years. Haven't regretted any of them.

Every one of them has come with good & bad. We're finally close to family for the first time in our marriage. It has been good for the kids... hard on the marriage. But that is because of personalities, not the fact of it in itself.

Everything's a tradeoff. Not much black & white as far as I can see, just shades of grey.

We're finally within months of paying off the last car we owe money on, and if it's up to me, we'll drive it for decades. I really hate the hit our budget takes when we have a car payment.

Bridgett said...

I moved a lot as a kid. Some of them were good. Others were heart-wrenching and made for difficult years (I went to three high schools). That said, none of the moves were hard until I was in 7th grade. I'd say...if you knew with decent amount of certainty that you'll be done moving after this move, then do it. Otherwise, I have no advice...but you're right. Your kids will grow up and they'll work it out. Many addresses has made me resilient and has shaped my worldview in a 1000 different ways.