Friday, June 25, 2010

Grow Your Blog Readership the Texan Mama Way

Much like Dan Rather, formerly of the CBS evening news, I'm going to give you "exclusive information" about how to grow the readership (aka increase the number of followers) on your blog.

So, in other words, my information is completely unconfirmed and may or may not be factual. I guess you could say that my methods could be called questionable, since I don't exactly have the following of The Bloggess or Seth Godin. Anyway, the last time I checked, there was no minimum comment-count in order to qualify to give out unsolicited advice on the interwebz. Because, really, isn't that why we all blog? To tell people how they should be doing the things that they are CLEARLY doing wrong?

So, growing a blog's readership. Here's my 2 cents.

1. Write often and write well. Content is key; the more you have, the better. Don't worry about the length of your posts because, after all, you're practicing your craft. Sure, you might be able to make your point in 5 paragraphs or less, but why? Readers love to hear all the details about your fish getting ick or about the lady in front of you in line at Wal-Mart with this t-shirt:

Thank you, People of Walmart, for this priceless photo of such a sweet old granny.

2. Visit and comment on lots of other blogs. Remember that it doesn't really matter what the post is about; just make your comment something generic like, "Your blog is lovely. I'd like to invite you to follow my blog." After all, the post might be about something depressing, like the death of their mother or the forclosure of their house. You don't really want to get all into THAT do you? You just want followers!

3. Pimp up your layout. When folks land on your page, you want to grab their attetion right from the get-go. Make sure you add lots of widgets! And, a flashing ad near the header works great too. Don't forget to have music automatically play when the page loads too. All of these will assure you repeat visitors to your blog.

4. Host a Giveaway. Have a contest that requires people to follow you, tweet about the contest, like your fan page on facebook, etc. I've found that people don't mind jumping through a hundred hoops, if it means that they're in the running to win a $15 Starbucks gift card.

5. Don't shy away from writing about your personal struggles. While your fish is suffering from ick, you may be depressed about its journey on the road to recovery. But if you don't feel that your readers are grasping the seriousness of this situation, you might want to make up a fake illness. You could even make up a fake baby to have the fake illness. Once the readers get to know the real you, they'll sympathize with your plight. Just make sure you don't post any photos - that could blow your cover.

6. Be Yourself. If you don't have a natural penchant for spelling or punctuation, don't worry. Really! I hardly ever hear bloggers talk about lose vs. loose, your vs. you're, and 'I could care less' vs. 'I couldn't care less'. I mean, po-tay-to, po-tah-to, right?

I hope these tips will help you to gain a real following with readers, both in quality and quantity! Never underestimate the power of the typed word!!!

These tips are really all just tongue-in-cheek fun, and this post is dedicated to my 200+ followers. I treasure each and every one of you!

Texan Mama


Ms. Anthropy said...

I've been doing it all wrong!

Gigi said...

Very helpful tips! I'm off to implement every single one of them! ;-)

Did you tweak your layout again?

Marinka said...

Awesome tips! I'm off to buy some fake fish!

Angel said...

lol Great Tips!!! I can't believe I have been doing it wrong for so long! Lol

Angie said...

I seriously need one of those shirts!

Draea Lael (Rose) said...

Your blog is lovely!
I invite you to come visit mine!
*bats eyelashes at TX Mama*

Amy O'Connor said...

Today's to do list:

1. pimp up layout

2. do a giveaway

3. fake a disease or disorder... better yet fake one of the KIDS having a disease or disorder.

Thanks for the tips! Can't wait to see my following flourish! ;)

Jennifer said...

You're rockin' it girl so you must be doing something right.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Where do I buy the fake baby?

Julie from Momspective said...

I'm on board with everything except the flash and music. I keep m computer on mute because sometimes music suddenly turns on and scares the poo out of me. I also find flash distracting but that's most likely me and my attention span. Content is absolutely key and commenting is essential. We all work hard to show are appreciation to each other and commenting not only is polite (when we're able to do it. When I travel I suck at commenting) but it can also create a great friendship!

McVal said...

Your blog is lovely... It was much better than Cats...
Am I doing this right?
I took off my autoplay music because apparently that's a gripe amongst some people who are reading posts in their offices... and don't want to get caught.
And the flashy buttons? really!? People like that?

Don E. Chute said...


I will keep checking my google, and that other thingydoodle, Alexa ranking to see how I am doing.

But, since I don't do this for them, WTF!


Double Wide Mom said...

thanks for stopping by my doublewide! I think its great to suggest we fake an illness AND be ourselves. Too true!!

Wendy said...

LOL! I thought you were being serious till I got to the flashing ads & music part.

Debbi said...

I was totally going threw my mental checklist of things I'm OBVIOUSLY doing right (according to you're list), and then you put that last line in their!


(ha. Love your humour, girl)

Scary Mommy said...

Hilarious- your tips are spot on!! Watch out, ProBlogger!

Melissa (Confessions of a Dr. Mom) said...

Really funny! Geez, no wonder my blog in lacking in followers, I need to get with the program ;)

texasholly said...

I am totally making up a baby.