Thursday, September 30, 2010

I Believe In Carbs

Long long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I had control of what my body looked like.

That was before I had children. Heck, that was before I had FIVE children. And I swear if anyone submits a comment that they have a bunch of kids and can still fit into her wedding dress, I will drop-kick your gravatar into next week.

*ahem* moving on...

So, long before my stomach muscles had been stretched out by 5 children,

Okay, wait, I have to give you a visual, in case you maybe haven't had a child or five. Think about a balloon that you got at TGI Fridays when your kid wouldn't shut up and the waiter with the obscene amount of button pins came over and tried to bribe him with a PRETTY BALLOON. So you get the balloon home and after a few days it's deflated. Now, look at that balloon. See how it doesn't go back to it's original shape? See how it's got those wrinkles all over it, and some parts are kinda saggy and droopy while other parts seem to snap back to their original shape? Well, my stomach ain't made out of latex but I can attest that my stomach and boobs bear a remarkable likeness to that balloon.

Now, back to the point of the post: I Believe in Carbs. Ah, yes, carbs. I think it was about 15 years ago that I started really hearing about the evilness of carbs. DON'T EAT CARBS! THEY MAKE YOU FAT!!! Funny, I thought all those midnight runs to Taco Bell were what was making me fat. But I had absolutely no desire to wrap my brain around one more thing in my diet that was bad for me. I was already trying to count my calories, count my fat grams, count my sodium grams. Now I'd have to count Carbs too? Blech. no thanks.

Besides, carbs make me feel full. Me likey feeling full. So, after I had Peppermint Patty, I devised my own little diet plan. Don't judge me. It worked for me, and I'm not advocating it would work for anyone else. I'm just saying what worked for me.
Breakfast: Hot Pretzel w/salt and a V-8 juice
snack: slim-fast shake
Lunch: Hot Pretzel w/salt and a V-8 juice
snack: slim-fast shake
Dinner: healthy, low-fat foods like steamed broccoli, chicken breast (grilled)

And, don't forget, exercise like a mo fo.

Those hot pretzels were filled with carbs from white flour. And know what? I got back to my prepregnancy weight both times. In fact, I did it just in time to get pregnant with the next child. Gee, I guess now I'm understanding where that mental block is coming from, keeping me from losing those last 10 pounds.

This post was part of MamaKats Writers Workshop. Join in the fun!

Mama's Losin' It

Texan Mama

17 comments:

Tonya said...

I believe in my heart of hearts that it was the devil himself that came up with the whole "carbs are bad for you" scam. No one should live without them. Ever.

Funny post.

5 kids, huh? How do you do it?

Stopping by from Mama Kat's
Tonya / Letters For Lucas
http://lettersforlucas.blogspot.com/

Leah said...

Ha, that's my sister's comment right before mine. I'm also stopping by from Mama Kat's Workshop. Wow, 5 kids! You are amazing! I used to want that many as well but not so sure anymore. Haha. Yes, carbs are amazing and I hate that I love sandwiches so much-bread is my downfall. UGH!
Cute post!

ournextchapters.com said...

Seriously... 5 kids? a-mazing! and I too love bread too much to give up! lol

Adrienne said...

Haha! I'm still laughing about your comment about kicking the gravator! Funny! :) That is a crazy diet. But, ya know what-I could do that. I love bread!

Adrienne said...

I stopped by from the workshop! :)

Lesley said...

Hi! My name is Lesley, I'm a carbaholic, and it's been 30 seconds since my last run in with carbs. *gulpgulpgulp* Make that 2 seconds.

I share the same sentiment about women who can still fit into their wedding dresses. Keep the gloating to yourself ladies, umkay?

Carrie and Mike Groff said...

Hello! Stopping by from BlogFrog to follow your blog. I love this post about Loving Carbs! my husband and I too both love to eat carbs...we are a pasta loving couple! My husband is Italian so Pasta is his thing and I just love it. Love to cook it..love to eat it..and it's cheap to buy :-) lol I like your diet..sounds interesting and very easy to do..and hey..whose to judge..whatever works for you is what matters most. I just might try it myself! I could lose about 20 pounds..I've never had children, but could still lose some weight. Looking forward to reading more from you!

Carrie A Groff
http://livingahealthybeachlife.blogspot.com

Jennifer said...

Hey! I'm stopping by because I'm always stopping by because I just like stopping by.

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

I'm also a lover of the carbs, but I've always done really well on those diets where I limit them. I think they are my kryptonite. For real. But you know the reason that "diet" worked. You liked what you were eating, you were full, and you still cut calories. Because really gaining or losing weight all has to do with calories. Period. Being healthy on the other hand has to do with what kind of calories you are eating, and that's the catch.

Bear and Bones Mama said...

I have the BEST diet for you! I've been on it for the last two weeks: Week 1: get a fever that lasts for 6 days. But wait! Don't rest because hubby is out of town for work! You must feed/bathe/clothes the kids! Exhaust yourself doing all this with fever, so you don't eat anything. Lo and behold: weight loss! So easy! Then, when the fever breaks, get bronchitis! Oh yeah, work it baby! STILL don't eat. It's overrated. Take the codeine cough meds the doc gave you which for some reason make you HYPER and not drowsy, and more weigh loss! This is great! Start feeling better, shower, get dressed, and put on your skinny jeans. Smile and decide it was worth it. (why yes, I have body image issues, why do you ask?)

FortyNotOut said...

All Hail the glorious carb - especially when it comes in the form of toast... smothered in butter! x

Eat. Live. Laugh. and sometimes shop! said...

Love this!! We eat white flour pasta almost every night!

I certainly couldn't fit in my wedding dress after having twins, but I'm just fine where I am at this age! : )

Karen said...

No worries here, you won't need to drop kick me, promise! Love this! An annoying and oh so uninvited cold has taken up residence in my head & I'm feelin' like you know what. But, ya wanna know what?! You & your post even got a giggle outta me.......Big Thank Yous from a Mama who wants to renegotiate her contract to include a sick day or two!!! :>:>

Diane said...

I'm with you! I've done the no carb/low carb diets and while I did lose weight, I was a total witch to be around while I was on those diets. I'm much nicer when I'm eating carbs. :)

Bevy-Anne Ruth Lucy said...

I have had only two children and I have the same problem .... 185# and have lost a couple since then - okay 3 years of losing those pounds b4 they gave up and quit being found again and again ...
I like carbs too ... but they have to have LOTS of fiber in them ...

Gigi said...

I love carbs - they are probably the only thing that keeps me semi-sane. Well, that and wine. But wait - doesn't wine have a lot of sugar which equals carbs?? Whatever.

Anyway, not that I would judge you - but I would definitely never judge your diet - because then you would have the right to judge mine. And friends just don't judge friends diets.

Jack said...

Carbs make me happy. Happy makes me nice. Good things happen when you are nice.

Kat said...

Carbs are energy, they are good for you. I snicker at the people who believe they will loose weight by cutting out carbs. They are usually the same people who eat a double portion of nachos but drink diet coke. Not knocking the diet coke, just the reasoning!
I think I'll be sticking around here to find out what pearls of wisdom you have from raising 5 children!