Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Wordful Wednesday: Keep Going

I promise, this is not turning into a photography blog.

But, I *do* love to take pictures. I'm fighting my natural instinct to feel puny when I look at other photographers' work. Their photos look so incredible, but I am still growing. I will be great one day too. I'm fighting my desire to just quit trying and accept my adequate-ness. I know I can succeed. I know how sweet the success will taste, but not on any timeline that I design. I need to just keep practicing, even when I feel like I'm completely out of ideas and can't drum up an original thought to save my life.

Yesterday was a gorgeous day and our family went hiking and climbing at Mineral Wells state park. Today I uploaded the pictures from the trip and I felt quite defeated after looking at some of the shots I captured.... or should I say, that I missed. The photos were blurry and off-focus and too many shadows and too much sun. The problem was that my surroundings were constantly changing and I was having a hard time adjusting to varied lighting, different angles, and all while toting a 14-month-old baby on my back.

I felt like, "Who am I kidding, pretending to be a professional photographer?!?!" But I made a choice to keep going.

This is not really a resolution for me, because every resolution I've ever made hasn't made it out of January alive. Instead, this is just a focus. This is something I want to do, something about myself I want to change, something I want to look back on after 12 months and see a significant difference. I want to have more confidence in myself. I want to quit all the negative self-talk. I want to forgive myself for my mistakes and not be afraid to celebrate my successes. I want to be rational about my setbacks and I want to be enthusiastic about having room to grow.

So, today, I kept going. I wanted to sit in the house and read a book or check Twitter or just fold laundry, but I knew that the only way I'm going to get better is to just keep practicing, keep going. So I grabbed my camera and convinced Sally to come with me to push Violet in the stroller. We only made it about 2 blocks, but they had fun and I got some practice.

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Still going.

This post is linked up over at Wordful Wednesday, Hosted by parentingBYdummies and Seven Clown Circus.

Texan Mama

15 comments:

Jen said...

I think that your photos are GORGEOUS! You have so such to be proud of.

And as they say, practice does make perfect. :)

Cookie Crums said...

Photos are fabulous! You're so right.... at times we just have to keep going not matter what. Surely, looking at these two makes you want to just snap shots ALL the time (along w/ their older siblings of course too!).

Crystal said...

OMGosh that little sweetie looks like a ball of energy!! What a doll!!

Michelle Saunderson said...

Practice makes perfect and I think these pics are great. I love the boots.

Jennifer said...

I think you are doing so, so good. Do NOT give up. And stop beating yourself up. You are doing a great job.

Jennifer said...

I think they are great and you are doing a great job! But, I know what you mean... I totally gave up after that horrid photo shoot in November. The only time I ever charged someone for my services and it was a total disaster and I lost my confidence so much that I have hardly picked up my camera since.

Ostriches Look Funny said...

Those pictures are adorable! They are so full of joy and energy.

misssrobin said...

Great photos.

And I am truly in love with those boots. If I could find a pair my size I would totally wear them.

Gigi said...

Do NOT listen to that negative voice inside your head! You take beautiful shots and I'm always in love with the pictures you post. Just keep doing it and you will see the fruit of your labors.

The Nice One said...

I love your pictures.

I need to have you shoot Awesome Baby.

SECRET AGENT MAMA said...

Practice makes perfect! You're on your way. Keep clicking, friend.

parentingBYdummies said...

So fun! I love the different angles. And, do your kids hate you yet for thrusting the camera in their faces everyday?! 'Cause mine totally do!

nicole said...

I think those are great pictures, especially the two of them in/near the puddle. Love the hair on your older blondie.

Wendy said...

I <3 your pics, I really do. And I lost your photo blog address...

My blog is turning into a photo-type blog. Because I wanted to rein in my own tendency to freak out and ramble, and because most of what I really want to blog about, I need a picture to do it. So I'm changing formats a little (AGAIN), where my goal is to make my words shorter than the height of my picture.

It's way more fun.... I'm already many days ahead and cranking out posts like crazy. It's the most fun I've had blogging since my first post.

Aunt Crazy said...

I think you are a GREAT photographer!!!

I seriously wish we lived close enough that you could do my son's senior pictures!