Monday, February 7, 2011

Bad Day Gone Good

SunshineThis morning I had to drag my lazy self out of bed to get my kids up & moving to go to school. I was ***VERY*** excited to have them be around an actual person (besides me), and not a 2-D image on a screen.

I got them up and going, then started laundry and put away the clean dishes that had been left to dry in the dish drainer. I sighed at the mounting pile of ironing and quickly smoothed the sheets and covers on my bed, so I could get to the laundry folding. Before folding, though, I snuggled with Sally for one episode of Blue's Clues and I remembered how much I loved that show when the older 3 kids were small. I mean, I'm glad that I am the one who taught her shapes and colors, but it was cool to see her recognizing them and identifying them while following along with the show.

I wanted to go to run a couple of errands this morning, so I started my grooming marathon: hair, make-up, lotions, correct clothing choices, etc. It seemed like I couldn't walk two steps without Violet clutching onto my legs. I'd pick her up to pacify her, then as soon as I'd set her down she'd start to get into a cabinet and do one of two things: look longingly at some poisonous substance (like nail polish remover or jewelry cleaner) and make a dive for it; or she would quickly empty the contents of the one thing that has a zillion pieces inside the box (like a Sams-Club size box of tampons). Needless to say, I was frustrated.

Don't even make me talk about trying to put shoes, socks, and coats on a toddler or an infant. It is NOT PRETTY.

Trying to get out of the house, I see a pile of bills that need to get paid. I pass by the dirty dishes that still need washing. The taxes that need to be sent off to the accountant. Toys that need to be put away. Piles of clothes that need to be given to the thrift store. More things to do, but no time to do any of it.

I found myself muttering, under my breath, "I hate this life. I just want ONE THING in my life to be easy. I want something to actually go the way it's supposed to." And this next part, I'm ashamed to admit, I selfishly thought, "I want someone else to do something for ME instead of me always doing for everyone else."

Then I went to run my errands. First errand: I turned in some old gold jewelry at a jewelry exchange. Holy Batman, I got WAY more than I thought I was going to get, and for a bunch of old stuff that I haven't worn in 10 years, if ever. I was shocked and found a huge smile on my face without even putting it there on purpose.

Next I went to the bank (to deposit my money! WOOT!) and found an open line at the ATM. I ended up punching some wrong buttons and taking longer than I needed to, and guess what? No one drove up behind me to make me nervous about hurrying up. It was all good.

Then I went to Sam's Club. Got a parking space 2nd from the front, right near the exit door. That, right there, is enough to make my day great. I brought the girls inside and the baby squiggling and wiggling and running in the opposite direction didn't seem to be so bad. I mean, it was kind-of a pain, but I didn't curse motherhood because of it (like I've been known to do some days). At the checkout line, I let a guy with one item go in front of me. This is my standard rule: if someone gets in line behind me, and I have a huge load while they have few enough items that they don't even need a basket, then they get to go in front of me. It's my little head-game that this pay-it-forward will come back to me sometime.

The Sam's Club checker? Super nice and helpful. And she smiled at me.

*warning to non-religious types: this is my faith and I totally understand if you don't share in it but I just want to talk about it.*

And now, I'm writing all this out because y'all need to meet a quota of boring things to read, right? ha ha. No, seriously, it's also to remind me that there was nothing I was going to do today that was going to make my day better. It wasn't because of anything *I* could control. I am not in control of my world... God is. I can do good things, but that doesn't guarantee that I will be spared from tragedy. I can (or, other people can) do hateful things, but that doesn't mean that I (or they) won't get fantastic rewards anyway. It doesn't work like that. It works in a way that I don't understand, and I just don't think it's my place to understand it anyway. Why do I have to twist my head around to get to a place that can make some logic out of something that's completely out of my control?

God knows what he's doing. I know that there are times I feel blessed and times I feel sad and times I feel confused. But I know he's with me through it all. When I'm going through it, I don't know why he gives me some good days and some bad days. But about 99% of the time, when I think back about my good days and bad days and I try to look at them through the lens of hindsight, I can see what God had in mind. Something good made me thankful. Something bad helped me change my perspective. Someone, whether they knew it or not, guided me.

None of it is an accident.

That's what I think, anyway.

Photo Credit


Texan Mama

12 comments:

Jess said...

THANK YOU!!
I was having a really bad day so far! Mine started out very similiar to yours and has not let up!!
Apparently I just needed a reminder that God is on my side!

Bridgett said...

yup!

mama hall said...

this kind of perspective has the power to change everything. don't even try to wrap your head around that. just know it :) and go with it. xo

Michelle Saunderson said...

You know who is charge. And yes, it is nice when he smiles down on you, isn't it?

Crystal said...

I love this post...thank you so much for posting it. I do have mornings (or days for that matter) that are like that...ho hum, whoa is me! But when I truly look at my blessings, I have so SO much. And, I too believe that God is in control of all of it. I gave up control and surrendered to His will when hubby was in Iraq. I love that you posted this! I am hessitant to do similar posts because I fear the backlash of those who see things differently. But we aren't called to hide and whisper our faith, are we??!! Thanx so much!!

Jennifer said...

I agree 100%. God has a definite plan. We just don't know what it is.

Gigi said...

Beautiful post, Gretchen!

nicole said...

Thanks for a needed reminder on what is true for me too.

And I totally do the same thing at the grocery store! In fact, I usually tell the person I let go in front of me that they are doing me a favor, because it means a little bit more time to myself (if I'm shopping sans kids obviously).

misssrobin said...

Amen.

And thank you for sharing your faith. I love it when you do.

lovemyabbie@gmail.com said...

Thanks for this post. I read it yesterday and thought it was wonderful. This morning was not good and I was trying so hard not to let it make my day. As I was waiting in traffic I saw the beautiful sun shining and your post came in my head to remind me there's nothing I can do to control the rest of the day, just God could. So I said a quick prayer and decide to just take a deep breath and meet what ever comes with the same prayer.

Thank you.

Anna See said...

I love this! I am so glad your day turned around, but more importantly that you could see it! Yay!

Jennifer said...

great post... I am immersed in a horrible day that doesn't appear to be ending anytime soon. Here's hoping for tomorrow.