Thursday, October 13, 2011

Let's talk about something else

I'm so ready for this stupid day to get started so I can just get it over with.

I want to feel excited about moving. I really do - I know it will help my attitude and probably increase the likelihood of everyone being in a good mood today. But honestly I'm just tired, sad, frustrated, and pessimistic.

As I sit here, it's almost 5am. I've been up already for 1.5 hours. I woke up because one of the kids peed the bed. And my laundry machine + detergent are already packed on the moving van. Our stuff is supposed to go into storage for up to 5 months. I can't put pee sheets in storage for 5 DAYS let alone 5 months.

I know I'll get this figured out but I'm just not exactly sure how yet.

I had some really awful, really sad goodbyes yesterday. Every time I move I think, "I can do this. I got through it last time, I can get through it again." And every time, it rips my heart out. I wish I were a person who didn't let stuff tear me apart emotionally so much. I wish I could say, "ah, whatever" more often. I wish I had more of the bigger picture in close focus. But ultimately I get caught up in my momentary drama and I get all upset & freaked out.

Thus - my current state of feeling like I'll puke at any moment.

So, this is my last post as Texan Mama. I guess the next time you read this I will be Wisconsin Mama or something. I'm not sure what I'll do or how I'm going to move forward, but the days will surely march on and I will live & breathe & wake to another morning.

See ya on the other side [of the country].

Texan Mama


Gigi said...

I've only moved far, far away once - and I know it's difficult. You will get through this and you will get excited about it the closer you get to your destination. It won't make leaving any easier though.

As for the sheets? Just throw them away. It's wasteful, I know, but at this point in the game it's one of the last things you need to be stressing over.

Wishing you a safe journey.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

May you have super cute movers who love kids. Take pictures. ;)

(Really, blessings to you; looking forward to hearing about your next adventures. <3 )

Jennifer said...

Sheets are cheap... toss 'em.

I'm wishing for safe travels for you.

And quit trying to "be" something. Just be you, and be honest with everyone about how you feel. That is what is best for them.

Foursons said...

I agree with Gigi- toss the sheets and call it a day.

I wish you the best of luck moving. I've never moved anywhere in my life and kinda wish for the adventure.

nicole said...

Hope travels have been smooth. I"m with the crowd--sheets hopefully went in the trash. You'll get through this, but there is no shame in it being difficult! It would wreck me to move away from this fantastic community I live in.

GunDiva said...

Hopefully you tossed the sheets. Seems to be the general concensus here :)

You've got to keep the name or alter it slightly (Transplanted Texan Mama maybe?).