Thursday, May 10, 2012

Wasted

Today was the most gorgeous, beautiful day.

That's how it is in Wisconsin. Four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Not Winter, and Almost Winter. (This is also like Texas where they have Summer, Still Summer, Not Summer, and Almost Summer). Springtime in WI is short and sweet and if you blink you'll miss it, then you'll be wearing long underwear in 95 degree heat.

Wait, let's back up. Just want to check: y'all remembered that I've moved to Wisconsin, right? like, 8 months ago. But I'm not going to change my blog to www.cheeseheadmama.com (although that domain *IS* available. hmm...) I just wanted to make sure we were all up to speed.

Anyway, today was a gorgeous day. Not a single cloud in the sky. Not a drop of rain. No harsh winds, no humidity. Just birds chirping and sun shining. And I thought about taking my kids to the park to run around, or serving dinner outside for a picnic. I thought about getting out the chalk and bubbles for the little girls or letting the big kids ride their bikes up to the library. I thought about a million things to do, and let those thoughts pass right on by as I stared at my stupid computer and my kids watched re-runs of some cartoon on Netflix.

My computer is having issues and (of course) I can't find the damn System Restore disk. I saw it every single day when we lived in Texas. It sat in the desk drawer and every time I opened the drawer to get a pen or piece of scratch paper, I saw that disk. "Toshiba BackUp 2010" it said - I can see the sharpie marker letters on the CD so clearly. After moving across the country, who knows where that disk is. But the handy folks at Staples (that was easy) are going to restore my computer to factory settings. I've spent the entire day backing up files & downloading data and trying to figure out what I want to save and what I dont' care about. I've checked for things I've downloaded, things I've uploaded, and things I've copied and pasted. Music. Photos. Documents. Correspondence. Everything that's important to me.

In my frenetic attempt to get my computer files gathered together, I forgot everything that's important to me.

I lost a chance today. I lost an opportunity to create a memory with my kids. I missed out on throwing a frisbee with them or drawing their portrait in pink sidewalk chalk or blowing bubbles and watching them chase them around like fireflies. I didn't take the time to just set my computer down and look them in the eyes. More than once today, I was keenly aware of what wasn't getting done because of my time being spent on the computer.

A status update from SITS came across my Facebook timeline:
Do you spend more of your waking hours online or off?

 That's just a slap in the face. And not in a bad way. SO MUCH of my life is tied to the computer. How would I communicate with people if I weren't online? How would I know what's going on? Can you believe, this year at my kids' school, they aren't even handing out grade cards anymore! They are just available online and the parents have to log onto the school's website to find the grade cards for their children. If I didn't have internet access, what would I do???

I want to do something big, something noble, something really prophetic. Like, make a pledge to go offline every day except at naptime. Or, go completely offline one or two days a week. Or, set a timer and stick to it. But what happens if I have to pay a bill online? Or find a phone number? Or get directions to drive somewhere? Or print a coupon? Or find a recipe? Or one of a million other functions that I use the computer for???

I just don't know. I do know that today was a day I can't ever get back and I am mad about it. Today was a wasted day, and I have no one to be mad at but myself. Tomorrow is another day, try it again I guess.

Texan Mama

6 comments:

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e/Mrs. Seaman) said...

Two random thoughts.

1) Our cards are on-line and parents without the web are expected to go somewhere to view them. (Low cost internet is provided to those who don't have it...)

2) My aunts used to have really long phone cords. Really long. So they were on the phone all day when their kids were small and they were all home. At least when you're on-line, I can't hear your kids whining in the background!

;)

Gigi said...

You are right, tomorrow is another day and another chance.

I shudder to think how much time I waste online. Sure a majority of it is legitimate but there is plenty of time wasting going on too.

Jennifer said...

There is always another day, and it is not like what you were doing wasn't important. You need the computer to be fixed. Not just because you use it for fun, but because it has become a necessity.

Kathryn said...

Okay. Don't beat yourself up over this one day. Yes, you can't get it back but there are tons of those and there will be more.
Lets think about this:
A. you were saving a lot of memories loaded on your computer, things that would be lost forever, yes?
B. it was a beautiful day, will there not be more?
C. did your kids even notice? Were they whining that you were wasting "their" day?
D. you're going to be the one that has this memory, not them. I know this from experience, talking to my kids about things that happened that upset me but turns out they had no trauma from it whatsoever.
So. Cut yourself a little slack, things are what they are these days. In the old days it would have been upsetting to have lost a roll of film. Now days, anything is possible. And, I dare say that when your kids are grown they will admire the fact that you worked so hard to save those memories.
Hugs!
kat

Miguel de la Torre Padilla said...

Pase a visitar tu blog y fue todo un honor te felicito y me quedo como seguidor un saludo y feliz fin de semana

Elaine A. said...

Try not to be too hard on yourself. I've had to "Unplug" a bit lately just because I have so much else going on lately but you're right, we need our computers/internet for a lot these days! I also try to get outside or out with the kids somehow each day - that's a good goal to have as well.

P.S. I had NO IDEA you moved!! WOW! I hope you're enjoying your new home.

P.P.S. we should chat about photography sometime since I'm just starting my own business here... I'd love to pick your brain one day.

Take care!!